how not to - sequel to baby bellinger // corey seager

part ten

   The boys were on their way home from a weeklong road trip. Usually, I travel with Corey, but since my dad's still in LA, I stayed back with him.

I love spending time with my dad, and I hate thinking that the years we're supposed to have together could be cut short, so I try my best to keep my worries about his tremor to to a minimum or else it'd be the only thing ever running through.

He's been getting them often, every twenty minutes or so, but he'll step away when it happens, and I'll pretend like I don't notice. Defiantly a flawed way to approach it, but we couldn't come up with anything better. To us, it's better than having to talk about what's actually going on.

While the boys have been gone, I've worked a little on the nursery. I didn't add much but mobiles above the cribs and two small white dressers that my dad and I bought from IKEA.

Ellen came over earlier to help me build them, and they match perfectly with the white cribs and light pink wallpaper and are adorable.

Then we all piled into my car, and now, we're currently taking a trip to Target so Cali can pick out some toys that she thinks Cami and Calia will like. We've been here for about half an hour, and have mostly ended up picking things for Cali to play with when she comes over, but there was one thing the small toddler was showing me that's meant especially for Calia.

It's a small plush doll that I think is supposed the resemble a princess but I have no idea which one.

"It's an angel! Calia's going to be a perfect angel!" Cali's still learning how to pronounce Calia's name, so it ends up sounding like she's saying Kale-ee-ah instead of Cah-lee-a, but it's cute that she's trying.

"She's learning about angels in school right now," Ellen explains to me while I set the doll in the cart. "She's absolutely obsessed."

I smile at my friend next to me, taking a second to let my eyes linger on the small golden cross necklace she wears around her neck.

The Kershaw's have Cali enrolled in a private Christian preschool, and they swear by it. Not just for the bible studies but for the education too. Cali's a very bright toddler, and her parents give all the credit to her school.

I've been thinking about stuff like schools a lot lately. A private school doesn't seem the most ideal since we're not the most spiritual people. Corey and I were both raised the same when it comes to religion. We attended church on Christmas and Easter and maybe prayed from time to time, but nothing more than that. 

I want my daughter to grow up with the morals she'll be taught at a school like Cali's, but there's so many other options we could pick that may or may not work just as well.

Corey wants her to go to a public school because that's what he went to whereas I wouldn't mind private or even homeschooling. When Cody and I were younger our dad homeschooled us because we were always on the road and it was something that all three of us loved.

Corey and I have years to think about that, but I feel as if I should have all of this planned out now. It's a strange thing to know you're going to be a mother. Before, the only things I thought about were softball, my brother and my dad, and Corey.

Those use to be the only priorities in my life, but now there's a child that's going to be dependent on the choices I make for her and that scares the hell out of me.

"Mama!" Cali tugs at her mom's maxi dress, a sly grin on her face.

"Yes Cali Ann?" Ellen and Clayton are both so patient with Cali, and I adore it. It's definitely a trait that I hope I can pick up from Ellen.