A Shitty Car, A Shitty Night, A Shitty Romance

Chapter One: The Chore Wheel

"This has gone too far, Boss. You're actively slowing down the revolution that you wanted to start by choosing him!"

He was insulted. "That is absolute bullshit, Kinzie and you know it! Having him around me does nothing but help our cause and frankly..." He turned away. "I think you're jealous."

She pulled back in a mixture of perturb and anger. "Jealous? Jealous!?" She slammed her fist onto the table, causing papers to fly everywhere. "I'm concerned about the sake of humanity! About the well-being of the crew! About- About him!"

The meeting room may have been full, but when she rose in that moment, she might've well been the only person there. She lunged forward and stared Diede down with her flaming, aggrieved eyes.

"You taking Keith David on every single mission ends tonight!"

For a moment, silence. But finally the crew roared with applause.

Around the table they all sat: Shaundi, Pierce, CID, an incredibly embarrassed Keith David, Benjamin, Asha and, of course, Matt, who was normally absent for meetings he deemed a waste of time, but Diede elected to ignore this.

Personally, he hardly payed attention to Matt's presence as it was. Like most former enemies of the Saints, he was taken down pretty easily and with minor humiliation on his part. After that he just left the states and from then on The Boss never really thought of him again. It was as if the boringness of their confrontation put him off from caring whether or not he was around. So what if he was on the ship? If he wasn't a Saint and wasn't a badass like Asha then who gives a shit?

Besides, that night, they had gathered for a much, much more important purpose:

An intervention.

With the cheers dying down it was now Shaundi that stood to confront him.

"Look, I have no idea why you're obsessed with Keith, but knock it off! I thought I was becoming clingy and here you are practically sewing him to your hip!"

"I enjoy his company! What's wrong with that?!"

"Oh sure, you enjoy his company but have you ever stopped to wonder if he enjoys yours!?"

Suddenly every head turned to Keith David in anticipation. He remained speechless and uncomfortable. Ben scooted his chair away from him.

Shaundi bit her lip and glowered at him suspiciously. "Well?"

The Boss looked at him pleadingly. "Keith, we're friends... Right?"

His eyes moved to her first, then to him. Finally, he slowly inched open his mouth, conscious that every gaze in the room was on him.

"Speaking from a totally objective point of view... I think that maybe... you need to... diversify who you take with you into the simulation!"

Diede fell back in anguish as Shaundi beamed. Betrayal! Treachery! A breach of his very trust! At this moment he couldn't even face the man he once called his "Super Bestest (Not Dead) Friend In The Galaxy."

Luckily, he didn't have to. Because in that moment his eyes met the cyan gaze of the ship's biggest recluse, now attending the meeting with half-hearted enthusiasm and a Game Boy Advance in his pocket. He saw the face of Matt Miller. For the first time he actually saw the weird little stowaway in person; not in virtual space, or a voice over a headset or covered head to toe with pink slime. And for a second, while he would refuse to admit it later, time stopped for Diede as the realization hit him like a train.

'Holy shit. He's... pretty.'

Fuck, was he pretty. His light blue eyes, so sharp and dramatic they could stop a beating heart, with meticulous eyeliner to match. And contrasting against them; his heavy brow and dark hair like the beautiful void of space surrounding them. The bridge of his nose was covered in light freckles that mimicked stars littered through the universe. And his round, soft face; light like ivory. Like the moon itself! He was... space personified and it had all hit The Boss in that moment so hard, he felt like his soul was engulfed by a supernova.