she asked if you were alright walking up to the group of people around you hand holding an other you shaked you head yes but stared with your eyes no and you saw she might've moved on, you did not ask, you can't. you observed the light in her eyes dancing in her pupils, you remarked her smile outshining your faded face, the flame your image once provided her, crisped it's way back only this was for an other's picture. so you sat, frized in memories, your eyes wondering towards two people, and for a strange reason you envy them both. as you try to entertain yourself, looking like you don't care through saying to your own self that you shouldn't, as you hold in the tears you named unlogical to drop, as you unwear your feeling for the sake of not letting show that she outpassed you in the course of moving on.
and as you reeducate yourself on forgetting feelings that aren't reciprocated. you look up a second to fix that one hair stepping on your unswept glasses. you see them. it's realer then it ever was through your perception, they kiss, you don't want to understand, they laugh, their eyes are firing, flirting facing each other and all you do is stare, at that point you don't even realize the power of that frized up movement of your eyes, your entourage in the opposite does.. but they only make up assumptions, through wispers you can clearly hear, but they cannot ask you a question they know for sure the answer of, and the consequences of, so they pretend, assuming you'll do as you did until now, and at that exact fragment of time you look away, hoping no one saw you, even tho you know, and it is as uncomfortable as the concrete made chair your sitting on, but you say nothing, you do nothing, but wait, wishing everybody in this weird atmosphere room might get the fuck out of here soon enough afores you break down, but you can't be the one getting up fist, standing would attract peoples eyes around you, one or two more of the scary wispers will be about you because of your past position, the assumptions may get clearer and louder. passing through the exit door will aciest all of that, conect that small act to the one thing making you fear to move, and you don't want that, because you never wanted to adress or admit to the feeling, you just keep pushing away, getting yourself shelft by hiding in the crowd searching for your smallest reaction or so your delusion makes you think. facking a smile always has been easier than facing a thruth you've lied so long for, so you outmath the situation into a range of steps and there's only problems, you don't even take solving them as a possibility, cause that is not the issue, you are the issue, you are your feelings, but you feel as you shouldn't be, because it feels as she isn't anymore, only difference she is, only they are no more in your regard and you don't understand that because you haven't moved on, you wait, time goes slower than your level of self esteem at the moment, the people disappears, you paralyzed yourself for a bitlonger almost against your will, you look around for a last time, an emty room, left to the echo of a lonely heart beat
you fall off that chair, you feel as you haven't eaten in a year, a distinguished taste left in your dry mouth, you don't wanna eat nor drink, you just want to break, you wanna let go the same way it seems she did, you can't take it no more, but you stand up.
