SEX | t.chalamet

4.9

this dinner is going surprisingly well considering i did everything in my power to not be here. even fake threw up in the bathroom earlier but atlas just told me to suck it up and get going.

but somehow, korean barbeque with my dad and atlas hasn't been all that bad. i've mostly stayed quiet unless someone directly addresses me so my brother has been fueling the conversations all night. plus my dad has yet to piss me off so i'd say we were smooth sailing at this point.

"how's poppy doing? i heard her mom got promoted a week ago." my dad asks.

i nod and sip my pepsi. "she's good. i think she's worried they'll have to move because of the promotion but her mom is doing her best to stay at this location."

my dad nods. "that'll be difficult. and what about your other friend, sawyer? are they still dating?"

i'm surprised he knows this. when poppy and sawyer started coming around my place, my dad was long into his disappearing act and i never brought it up when he was around.

"yes they're still together."

"thats good. i like that kid. good head on his shoulders." he says nonchalantly and bites into his meat.

i frown and busy myself by grilling more lamb. when has my dad ever even met sawyer?

"did you get a dress for your formal yet?" atlas asks me.

i look up and nod. "i went with poppy the other day."

"oh a formal?" my dad cuts in. "are you going with anyone in particular?"

i harshly swallow the lettuce in my throat and hesitantly meet his eye.

obviously i didn't tell him about theo or tim. i barely told atlas about theo and i tell him everything. he just knows we broke up and i sulked about it alone for three days.

atlas gives me a sympathetic look that i try to ignore. i really didn't want to think about my fucked up love life tonight. especially since it's timothée's party tonight. and especially if it's coming from my father.

"nope. i'm just going with poppy and sawyer." i finally say and press my lips together.

my dad nods and goes back to his food. "have you been seeing anyone lately?"

i scoff. "jesus dad."

he puts his hands and chopsticks up in surrender and laughs. "can't blame me for wanting to know what my little girl has been up to."

"well maybe if you'd been home..." i mutter under my breath but it must've been louder than i thought because the table goes quiet.

atlas looks disappointed and sighs at me which just about kills me. he puts his chopsticks down and runs a hand over his face.

he wanted this dinner to go well, i know that. and i was trying my best but ultimately, my dad screwed us over and one meal isn't going to change that. he was just doing a good job of pretending up until now.

but disappointing my brother still sucks.

my dad looks embarrassed and scorned, as if i'd just slapped him. i wait for something in me to feel bad for him but nothing comes.

he puts his chopsticks down as well and gingerly wipes his face with a napkin, all without looking up at me like the coward he is.

i'd been tolerant of him. but that quip about me being "his little girl" really set me off. how pompous of him to think he can even call me that. he lost that privilege a long time ago and i am no where close to being his little anything now.

the mood at the table has dropped and no one, especially my dad, is trying to bring it back up.

the only reason i'm not full on yelling at him right now is because of atlas. i know he wanted this dinner to go well for all of us even if a part of him knew that wasn't possible. so i keep my temper capped and decide to excuse myself before my dad does something that makes me snap.

i clear my throat and stand up.

"excuse me." and i climb out of the booth without looking at my dysfunctional family.

i squeeze around a few waiters and other guests waiting for a table. someone definitely deserves ours more than we do.

i push out of the restaurant and into the brisk evening air. the cool wind blows through my hair and i hug my jacket closer as i walk down the street. i won't leave obviously, atlas is still my ride home. but some distance would be nice so i walk all the way around the block and find a nice bus bench to sit at.

i plop down and let out a frustrated groan. i feel awful about ruining the night for atlas but making my dad feel shitty was kind of nice. it felt good to give him a piece of his own medicine. i've always wondered if he was aware of how much he'd destroyed our lives by leaving over and over. seeing him so distraught definitely warmed my heart in a sick way.

but overall, this has been a terrible night. maybe one of the worsts.

i sigh and pull out my phone. surprisingly, i find i have quite a few missed texts.

poppy🏵💝: hope dinner is going well
poppy🏵💝: party is kind of lame so im going home.
poppy🏵💝: apparently everyone is just staying at his place
poppy🏵💝: ya im definitely going home. come over after if you want
poppy🏵💝: wow timothée got really drunk
poppy🏵💝: jesus hes an aggressive drunk

since sawyer got invited, poppy went along to act as his designated driver and as my informant. it was not my idea but when sawyer brought up that theo was acting weird at school, poppy said she would go to the party and get some insight to see how he's been after the break up. somewhere in her twisted plan, i'm supposed to get some reassurance that theo is okay.

novalyn❄: how was theo?

i wait a few seconds but she doesn't respond. she texted me half an hour ago so she's either at home and asleep or still at the party. i'm sure she's fine. even drunk, sawyer wouldn't let anything happen to her.

timothée on the other hand, does not sound fine. it worries me that he's supposedly really drunk. he only gets aggressive when he surpasses his usual limit. i've only ever seen him in that stage once and that was the first time i met him at the club. after that, he's only ever been stoic and hardass drunk which is a much safer level of intoxication for him.

he must be really hung up on something because he never drinks that much.

i just hope he's okay and being looked after. lord knows someone should look after him for a change.

i scroll past poppy's texts and land on another thread of unopened messages.

from... tim?

he sent these ten minutes ago. i hope that means he's sobered up enough to coherently text me.

if he were sober, would he really be texting you?

shit.

i open the messages anxiously and exhale deeply.

tim: im sorry about you and theo
tim: you were good for eachother
tim: sorry
tim: wish you had come tonight

yeah he's definitely still drunk.

~•~

author's note.
almost done part 2!