S.O.S. [Depressed!France X England]

Chapter 2: Je suis désolé

He let himself on a couche in the living room after he took off his jacket and threw it on the coffee table. He loosened his shirt's buttons as he was looking at the ceiling, sinking in thoughts...

The meeting's finally over, Arthur didn't talk with me after I left the bathroom, thank god... He will forget it anyway, doesn't he hate me? He has to forget, if he really hates me. Or I am going to laugh at his worrying. He will curse and leave me alone in that way. That would be an usual dialogue between us. No one will notice my pain, yeah, surely... It has to be so... I have to fight with him tomorrow like I've always done before... Thinking our worst moments in the past... So that I can look normal.

This world is just too cruel to live in... I have to hurt the person I love, I have to be selfish to hide my pain, I have to look normal as if everything is okay... And the worst thing is these hurt me much more than anything else, even more than the actual reasons...

Actual reasons? Well I cannot say that there are various types of reasons... Reasons are reasons anyway, I don't have to lie myself about it while I'm already tricking myself with my imagination. Tricking myself is pretty enough.

He sat up and sighed. After a moment, he saw the wine bottle on the coffee table. He just looked at it for a while without thinking anything. And finally he took the bottle, poped it out and started drinking. Normally he wouldn't drink it without a glass, but he didn't care about it that time. He was pleasured with the red liquid that was running through his ephosagus. He scratched his hair after drinking almost the half of the bottle, with a serious expression on his face. He drank the rest and when the bottle became empty finally, he stood up shaking and went to the kitchen and took another bottle.

...

After a few bottles, he couldn't raise his head even a little from his knees, he was sitting on the floor and his back was leaned on the wall. His eyes were half opened and his hair was in a mess, and so was the kitchen because of the wine bottles. He was relaxed somehow, thanks to French wine...

Ring Ring Ring

He moaned and crossed his eyebrows. Even though his mind was blurry he was annoyed of the ringing voice of the door bell. It went on like that for a moment, then he heard that the door was opened. What was that actually? A thief? Or a murder? He didn't care about it and just groaned.

"P-Papa?!" Canada was shocked by the scene he saw in the kitchen. He even couldn't move after that, he just looked at the drunken Frenchman who was sitting on the floor.

France chuckled softly. "Oh, Matthieu, veux-tu avoir un verre du vin? Mais je ne connais pas si j'ai plus..." (Oh, Matthew, do you want to have a glass of wine? But I don't know if I have more...)

Canada kneeled down next to him, grabbing France's shoulders. "Non, why are you so drunk? I will help you go to the bed, just come s'il vous plaît."said he, standing up and tugging his arm.

"Laisse moi..."

"Please! I beg you, you are going to catch a cold in this situation..."

"Matthieu... Je suis désolé..."

Canada stopped tugging him and look inside the other one's irisis, it seemed like he felt weird when he heard his apologize. He kneeled down next to him again, started listening to him.

"I'm sorry, you see me like this..."

"Papa, are you-"

"Matthieu..."said France as he hugged the Canadian boy slowly. "Je suis désolé realment..."

Canada couldn't say anything, he just hugged him back and rubbed his back. He still didn't know the reason why he got drunk that much, he thought that he was sad just because of getting drunk...

"Do you remember the day that I lost you to England?..."asked he, chuckling again.

~Flashback~

England was laughing as he was pointing at France who lost against him.

"Angleterre you are so cruel!" yelled he as he scratched back of his head while he was sitting on the ground, in a mess.

"Serves you right! I will take this boy then." said he as he leaded to young Canada who was standing next to France and crying. Canada was afraid of England, he tried to escape at first but he couldn't do anything but crying between the Englishman's hands.

"PAPA!"yelled he as he was extending his hands to France as much as he could. However his tiny arms weren't enough to reach him.

France couldn't do anything but watching the scene in front of him and starting crying, biting his lower lip, crossing his eyebrows with pain. What could he do anyway? He was sure that Canada wouldn't forgive him never, even when he grew up.

~End Of The Flashback~

"Mattieu..." his voice was trembling.

"Allons-y, come on."

"Bien sûr..." answered he sniffling. Canada grabbed his arm and helped him to stand up. He took him to the up stairs, to the bedroom.

"Je suis désolé pour pas être un bon père à toi..." (I'm sorry for not being a good father to you...)

_____________________

Sorry for my French by the way, we have French lessons at the school, but teachers don't give importance to teach it since they know that most of the students don't want to learn it. It makes me sad actually, they look at me weird when I say them that French is so beautiful and worth to learn :S Sad but true... Anyway, I hope you enjoy with my story :'>