Forever : The Cream Sweater | COMPLETED | Part 1

Chapter 25

Author's note
The final chapter.

*****

I woke up to sore eyes and swollen throat. Last night had been nothing short of a nightmare. The images from yesterday are dancing around me, the homely face of mom isn't that homely anymore. So has dad, proved how selfish he is. This house will never become a home for me, though it never was.

There's no point in pondering over this again and again. I don't think my life is cheap enough to waste on them. I got up from the bed and saw a couple of papers on my desk. I prefer my stuff cleaner than disinfectants and neater than military schools. I didn't place them here like these.

At a closer look, I realized they were admission forms. All of science colleges! What part of
' I'm not changing my decision ‘
did they not understand? I crumbled the papers and dumped them in the bin. I wanted to scream, shout and hit someone right at the moment. I need to speak to a sane soul and who better than Abhaas? I opened my window and called for him.
Abhaas!!! Abhaas….. ABHAAS!!!!

What is wrong with him? He has been unavailable for centuries now. He's not allowed to hibernate when I'm in deep shit. Ugh!! LIFE.

I'm not giving up so soon. I got ready and decided to pay a visit to Abhaas. But as soon as I closed my door, I saw Ulka entering my complex.
“Ahana, I was just about to knock on the door.”
“Ulka, we'll talk later. I have some work with Abhaas.”
“Work? Are you helping him pack?”
“Pack? Is he-, is he going somewhere?”

Ulka's expressions changed and I knew something was off. So Abhaas is going somewhere and didn't tell me. That didn't anger me at all. I'm as fine as hell. I just want him dead!!!!!

I pushed Ulka back and ran outside. It's time for confrontation.
“Ahana noooo! Don't…” I didn't wait to hear her out.

I opened the door to Abhaas’ house and took the stairs up. As soon as I reached his door I saw boxes, big brown boxes and empty shelves. I could hear tape being stuck to boxes to seal them. Is he really leaving? With each step I took thereafter, my feet became heavier.

My teddy bear, my Abhaas is going, going away. But why? I need him. He can't leave me alone with these crazy people.

I entered his room. He was sitting with his back towards me, sealing the boxes.
“Why didn't you tell me you're leaving?”
He froze at my words. Quite evidently, he didn't plan on telling me anytime soon.
“Were you planning on sending me a letter after you'd already left? Is it just me or does this sound cruel to you too?” He quietly stood up and turned, facing me.

“Informing me wasn't that difficult you see. You could've called me, texted me at least. Well you could've just called out for me from the window but I see that's a terribly difficult task for you.” I was out of control.

He looked nothing short of hungover. His eyes were lifeless, only the red rims assuring me he's alive. Those brown hair didn't hold any life in them. His face was full of emotions. He was in pain. I couldn't tell why.

“I need answers Abhaas, talk to me.”
“I don't want to argue.” His words were measured, our conversation numbered.

“What kind of emergency forced you to leave without informing me? Honestly I'm not caging your soul here, a single sentence would've been enough. The fact that you didn't trust me enough angers me.”

I could feel my heart pump faster and faster. I needed some rest, I need to breath. I took a deep deep breath and released with a sight hush.

“You're hurt.” Abhaas stated the fact.
What does he expect me to do? Appreciate the fact that he got it right?
I gave out a dry laugh and said-
“Obvious isn't it? I'm hurt, because my best friend refuses to speak to me.”
“I can't. Sorry.”
He sat on one of the boxes and placed his head on his palms. I'm not used to seeing my lifeguard in such a great peril. I've thrown him into serious trouble quite sometimes, but nothing bothered him so much.

I decided to give it one more try.
“I want to listen. Please, Abhaas talk to me.”
“No.”
“You have to.”
“No.”
“I'm requesting for the nth time.”
“No.”
“Abhaas!!!”
“I SAID NO!”

I stared at him for a while. It was difficult to digest the fact that he just screamed at me, he was leaving as well and that too without telling me why.

I turned back and saw a half empty shelf with few books and show pieces. If this conversation refuses to go beyond his legendary 'no’ , I'll incorporate some action to bring variety in our fight. I got hold of a book and threw it at him.

“What are you doing!!!”
Now he's speaking. Too late my friend!

I threw few more books at him. Then I got to the dictionaries and novels.
“Are you trying to kill me!!” For a second I thought he's bluffing. But then I saw I was holding a glass show piece. I looked at him. Nah! I can't kill this creature. That would be too easy a punishment for him. Okay!

I kept the piece back at its place.
“Thank god!” He exclaimed.

He got me wrong here. I decided not to kill him, hurting him is still allowed. I pulled out my shoe and threw it at him. He was shocked, that's exactly what I wanted.

I want him to feel the same kind of pain that he's putting me through by leaving without any explanation. He's not allowed to get away while he's dug a deep-deep hole in my heart and refuses to fill it up.

I….. I want to climb over him and pull out his hair.
I want to slap him…….slap him hard over and over again until his cheeks are all red.
I…….... I want to hug him tight. Hold him close and cry on his shoulder.
I want to fall at his legs and beg him not to leave.

I hate the kind of power he has over me. He's hurting me and I'm helplessly letting him. When did I start getting so dependant  that I can't manage to hold my grounds against him. I can't even stand straight. I can feel my whole body shiver everytime I look into his eyes. He's leaving, really leaving. I won't even see him for god knows how long. There will be weeks and weeks of sleepless nights I spend crying. He's putting me through all this knowingly. I wanted to cry!!!

“I HATE YOU!” I screamed. I ran out of his room. But then I realized it's difficult to run with just one shoe on. I returned to his room and threw the other shoe at him.
“I CAN'T WALK WITH ONE SHOE ON!!

Then, I left. I would never come back to him, to this room. The window opposite mine will remain empty forever, so will the part of my heart where he resided. It's all empty now. My heart, my brain everything. I came out of his house where Ulka was waiting.

“Ahana, you okay?” she asked. I didn't want to speak. What is there to talk about anyways?

She was left behind long back while I was inside my room. Everything is changing. No more school, no more looking out of the window and expecting that pair of brown eyes, no more Abhaas-Ahana movie marathons, no more the best part of my life.

I stood by my window, a taxi standing by Abhaas’ front door. For one last time, the curtains to his window opened. He stood on the other side, in his signature cream coloured t-shirt. He hung a hanger in the window, it had a tiny cream coloured sweater over it, the same that he wore the first time we took a bus to school together. It had the word 'Forever’ painted over it in black. I saw his face through my watery eyes. But I remained still.

He left. I saw the taxi take off, taking my lifelong bond of friendship with it. Someone I trusted was cruel enough to leave me to suffer alone. Indeed, no one is worth the trust, the more people we trust, the more are the chances of getting it broken. One such somebody broke me too, his name My Abhaas.

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