relapse

fifty two

i dragged my wobbling body into the bathroom.

round two

a singly tear rolled down my cheek as i stepped one of my bony feet onto the cold tile.

i raised a shaky hand and opened the cabinet, my fate right in front of me.

i reached up and grabbed the container, opening it and setting the lid down.

i grabbed the alcohol that i set there a while ago, i had been planning this for a while since my last failed attempt.

i cried as i grabbed the razor, slicing it across my wrist once again.

i quickly poured the pills into my hand, and grabbed the bottle.

i tilted my head back, dumping the pills into my mouth, then chugged the alcohol.

i looked around as i thought about my friends, the ones who left me.

my parents who hated me,

and you.

as i fell onto the ground, i realized something.

no story ends well.

i laid there, the dead weight in my legs from the sleeping pills,

the dizziness from the alcohol,

and the blood pumping out of my wrists.

and then, then i finally forgave you.

i forgave you for the pain you caused me.

i forgive you.

----

a quick note:

sorry i ruined the feeling of this chapter, i just want to let you know that suicide is not the only answer. i believe you can get through whatever you are going through, YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS PAIN! I LOVE YOU!

This, too, shall pass.

and remember that.