Looking for Joy

epilogue

I have never went to the sea

I remember that when I was young I always dreamt about the vast blue ocean and shining sand

But because I spent all my childhood in the country side I’ve never have the chance to go there

Even though I always was always making that to do list which I’ve never done

When I finish exams I’ll go and after the exams other things pops out so next time

When I have a part time job, I will go then I have a lot a life expense no need to waste money for that

When I finish middle school I’ll ..

When, when, when …

Always making plans to enjoy my life,
my cursed life

but never actually realising them
I spent the last 26 years of my life peacefully not bothering any one and no one bothering me
Shutting the outside world away from me ,building a wall to keep everyone out
Then, why?
Why am I drowning in a pool of blood, my blood in this stinky, gloomy alley?

With our Lofty CEO of the number one company in the world crying more like weeping while hugging this miserable body of mine , dude since when we were thing close and since when you became a big dog where is  that aloof and  arrogant man go
My conscience is drifting away little by little

*sigh* what a shitty world it’s all because of you entering my life that it’s so  messed up

I wish I went to the sea

No my real wish, no my last one is to find happiness

I still think that life is playing a prank on me

Me whose name is joy who never found it

I feel sleepy; I am so tired Mr. CEO Stop shouting my name I want to sleep

Moreover, that is it

That is how my poor life ended

No money

No girlfriend

No friends

No family

With nothing

I suppose no one will even notice that I died,
oh forget this large dog here, just what are you doing?
After that black is all I saw / see and will
Alternatively, what I thought
Because the next moment I opened my eyes, I was in my old bed
Home my old home
I am alive and back to my 9th year old self
I’m not the one to believe in supernatural phenomena but is this Rebirth