dear no one // 5sos

"Well hello there beautiful."

As I look around the small pastel colored office, I am surprised that Julie is no where to be found.

Great. Now I have to sit around and wait even longer in this claustrophobic space until she returns.

I pull out my iPhone and start to browse the web to try to keep my mind off the agony of waiting for this tardy woman.

I decide it may be wise to start to look for a dress for the upcoming prom, so I open the site to the local boutique. Just thinking about it makes my stomach fill with butterflies and my head fill with questions.

What will I wear?

Will Luke and I match?

I wonder if he already had his tuxedo?

Does Sabrina have a date too?

I have always had a hard time making decisions and this wasn't life or death, but I was just so set on impressing Luke.

I mentally scold myself for sounding so insecure and dependent on a guy and decide to dial Sabrina's number to ask her for the advice, I know only a best friend can provide. Even though she doesn't exactly have the same fashion choice as I do, for she dresses like a slut, I do trust her.

Sabrina and I have known each other for as long as I can remember. Her mother went to high school with my father. I believe the story goes like this: The two of them dated for a week, but soon realized they would be better as friends.

The thought of my father and her mom together still makes me cringe every time I think about it.

The friendship our parents had was like a model of what Sabrina and I still hope to become.

When my mom came in the picture, Susan welcomed her with open arms, and they sort of became 'the three emigos'.

The nickname makes me gag.

My father and mother got married, and soon did Susan.

As the years went on they all stayed friends, so it was inevitable that when Sabrina and I were born, we would become friends as well.

Now that my dad is gone, and my mother is unable to speak about these times that she had with him, when I talk to Susan it is sort of like my dad is still here. When my mom became the way she is now, Susan became my mother essentially and I have no words to thank her for it. Everyday she shares memories of my father, and I could not be more grateful for that. I just wish Susan and my mother would understand me the way my father did.

Throughout time I realized that nobody will ever understand me the way he did.

I can't fathom of telling anyone else these thoughts except for him, so I just don't say anything at all.

Just smile.

Only smile.

As Sabrina's high pitched tone goes to voicemail, I end the call and resume my online browsing.

After what feels like hours of endless clicking and searching for a gown that isn't completely hideous, I come across a white dress, with small rhinestone embellishments, and a beautiful sweetheart neckline.

I start to chuckle at the attention to detail I payed to this dress, and how I knew exactly how to describe it. I guess that is what you get when you spend every day for a week watching 'Say Yes to the Dress' reruns.

I take a screenshot of the dress and send it to Luke. The thought of him seeing me in it, with blushed cheeks, telling me I'm beautiful, would make any girl crazy.

My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of Julie, stumbling into the room. I plaster a smile on my face to hide my annoyance, and she returns the gesture.

"I am sorry I am late dear, I had a very long night." she says in her thick accent.

I contemplate on how I can possibly use the situation she is in to my benefit.

"It's alright Julie. I bet you are very tired maybe we could reschedule this for another time. I would hate for you to not be at your best, while trying to give me the advice I am spending money for. I bet I could be use this wasted time and money to pay for my medical bills, what do you think Julie?, I reply with a sweet smile.

Most people freak when I talk about anything to do with my illness, and I know from the expression that sits on her face, I will be surely dismissed from my session.

Julie just nods and quietly walks into the little room she has just emerged from. I grab my purse and head straight to the door with a smile plastered on my face.

I reach the jeep and hop inside, starting the engine immediately. I jump as I hear the sound of a heavy breathing next to me. I look to the passenger seat of my car to find Luke, passed out with his head resting on the clear window.

I can't help but smile at how adorable he looks, with a thin layer of sweat that sits on his skin, as his chest moves up and down in a soothing pattern. I have to refrain myself from taking a picture.

When I shake his shoulder to awaken him, he groans and his blue eyes widen as they look into my own.

"Well hello there beautiful." he says in his thick morning voice.

"Why aren't you at school, and why the hell are you sleeping in my car?"

His grin broadens as he sits up and slides his fingers through his hair, making it even messier than it already was.

"I was going to surprise you by waiting in the car for you when you were in your session, but I guess I fell asleep." he laughs and wipes his eyes from the evident signs of sleep.

The laugh he gives off is so raspy it makes me laugh right with him. God if I weren't in a parking lot right now, I don't know what I would do to him.

"I've never heard your laugh sound like that, I have to admit I like it." I giggle.

He gives me his signature grin and says "Well I guess you will just have to spend more mornings with me then."

I playfully swat his arm and start to drive.

"Did you see the dress I sent you?"

"Mhmm" he mumbles.

"And what did you think about it then?"

He looks at me directly in my eyes and says softly "I did not like the woman in the picture at all. I believe if that starving model was replaced with someone more beautiful. More real, then I would possibly like the dress... So I guess you would need to try it on for me then?"

"Are you kidding me? That girl is absolutely gorgeous, no one can model that dress better than she can."

"Except for you." he whispers under his breath, not wanting me to hear.

"Whatever Luke, shut up. If you met that girl you would fuck her in a heartbeat."

He laughs and places his hand on my thigh, and I can't help but smile. Luke does the littlest things to show affection but they sure do make my heart leap.