And suddenly , I knew ... ( a cmbyn prequel )

Never be the same

I sprint into the room, blocking out Luca yelling at me in Italian, eager to meet my costar I burst into the room and suddenly my worst fear or my greatest desire came to reality.

I saw him , that face , that body that I so vividly remember from the time we had spent together, entangled in bed, one summer ago . All the memories flooded me
All of a sudden I was not worried about having to create chemistry with a stranger ; that brought up a whole new world of complications that I, we , would have to solve later, together.

I thought, I even hoped, I would never see this boy again, but deep down I knew he was probably the best thing that ever happened to me.
It was thanks to him that I was able to figure myself out all the while helping him do the same. We were just that to each other, a means to an end, at least it was for me, in the very beginning of what would be the best experience I've had on my almost 30 years walking this Earth , our epic love story .

When I finally snapped out of it, Luca introduced us, the boy got up from the piano bench all too quickly. Apologizing to both myself and the piano instructor, while maneuvering so he wouldn't fall down on his face. I can imagine he was just as shocked as I was, he was still the nervous mess I so fondly remember.

"Armie, Timothée Chalamet., Timothée , Armie Hammer." Luca said while he "introduced"us to one another.

That was the first time I had heard his full name, it sounded so fancy , to me he was just Timmy .
After the initial shock had passed we shook hands as any soon-to-be costars would, since we "have never met" prior to this moment, I much rather everyone believes that anyway .
But , How could I ever forget this boy? Timothée Chalamet, the love of my life .

It was the summer of 2015 I was about to finish the press tour for The Man from U.N.C.L.E , with my costar Henry Cavill. What I did next proved to be either the biggest mistake of my life , cause it blew up my marriage or the wisest thing I ever did , cause it allowed me to not keep on living a lie .

My attraction towards my male costar wouldnt go away and one day I couldn't wonder , what if , anymore .
"Hey Henry what's up how's it going ?"

" peachy , I'm so glad we're almost done with this press tour thing , it can get exhausting at times "

"Oh yeah I know this press tours can be a real bitch , so listen we should talk "

"About what ?"

"The elephant in the room"

"I don't follow "

" you don't have to hide with me , i'm like you "

" please , elaborate I have no idea what you're talking about "

" we obviously have a thing for each other , don't deny it , I can feel the chemistry too "

" Have you lost your mind ???? I'm straight !!! , so are you or so I thought , I don't have time for this , please figure yourself out for the sake of Elizabeth and your own.!" He said angrily while slamming the door .

There was only one thing I could do right now , talk to Liz , before she heard it from someone else , beg her to forgive me . After Elizabeth learned that I might be bi or even a closeted gay she lost it , started screaming in pain , and the worst part was I couldn't do or say anything to make her feel better , since , her suffering was my doing .
Liz sees her world falling apart , after all , we have a very small child to raise , and she can't do that by herself .
Liz chose to forgive me but couldn't forget something like this , At first she talked about getting a divorce , but then discarded the idea afterwards cause it would be a rushed decision , after a long conversation we came to the agreement of a time out ,in which we would both figure out if we still want to be husband and wife .
Later on we agreed that it is in harper's best interest to remain at home with her mother and i would be the one to leave .
So , I decided i would make the best out of this unfortunate situation and will take this time off to take a much needed vacation ,I haven't done so in a long time . But first I had to find a place to crash for the time being .
I was laying in bed at the hotel room , laying there , thinking , where could I go ? I needed a place that was remote , quiet and not crowded so the chance of someone recognizing me would be significantly smaller .
My phone started ringing it was my old friend Phil , he was calling to meet up , we hadn't seen each other in a while so I said yes . I told him I was staying in a hotel for now , he said we could talk about it later . An hour later we met for dinner , he started telling me all about his trip to Europe , to France and particularly this beautiful little town called le chambon-sur-lignon , he told me it was in the French countryside , a quiet , perfect place to relax and be alone . It was perfect . We said our goodbyes and next thing I knew I was landing in France already on my way to le chambon-sur-lignon.