These Tears I Cry Are Not For YOU

Broken Promises

11:53 P.M. Chapter 1 Wednesday, July 30, 2014

As I Sat here in my backyard, drinking wine, & listening to my slow jams CD. I Wondered why in the hell was this happening? Why had so many people just decided to up and walk out of my life after I had done so much for them? I know I'm an adult and I should already know better, and know that "Life happens", but I still have that lingering thought why?Why had so many things gone wrong? Why couldn't I just be happy?

I had my Feet dangling in the water of my 8ft deep pool that I could not swim in. & I was a miserable height of 5'0 ft. I Grabbed the bottle up and took a long swig of it and slammed it back down making the bottle collapse within itself.

Then Anthony Hamilton- Her Heart came on and tears streamed down my face as I shook my head because the lyrics were all too real for me.

I had a habit of messing up

We Both Did

Staying out late and getting drunk

I Wish I Was

I let you down a thousand times

But Why?

Broken promises

Too Many To Count

It's like I ran away from you

Right Out That Door And Never Returned Again

My career was my excuse

I Slipped Down In The Pool

Until I saw you about to drown in your own tears

His Voice Was Muffled Out Due To The Water But I Knew The Song Too Well

And as you cried in my arms

I Saw A Figure At The Other End

You woke up my heart

Then I Heard Other Muffled Sounds That Didn't Mix With The Music

And I saw again what I found in you

Someone Splashed In

Cause her heart, her heart wont let me lose her

My Chest Began To Feel Heavy And I Couldn't Hold My Breath Any Longer

No matter how I try

The Air Bubbles Went Into My Nose & To The Top

I just cant say goodbye and lose her

Strong Hands Snatched Me Up Like A Rag Doll As I Inhaled The Water

When all the folks were said and done

I Was Dragged Back Up & Immediately Started Coughing

You were there to welcome me home

I Tried Coughing Harder To Get Out The Water

I was convicted cause your love never wavered

It Hurt But It Worked

I know you love me more than me

Then Two Slaps Sounded, I Couldn't See Because The Water Hurt My Eyes

And you vowed to love through anything

Tobias Came And Pulled Me Into Him And Rocked Me Back And Forth

I never had a kind of love that was forever

I Was Breathing Hard Then Anthony Said It

And as you cried in my arms

Then I Followed Suit With The Lyrics And Cried Hoarsly

You woke up my heart

Then My Eyes Opened And He Had Tears Piling Up In His Eyes

And I saw again what I found in you

In All My Years Of Knowing Him I'd Never Seen Him Crying

Cuz her love, her love wont let me lose her

I Hadn't Seen Him In Two Years When He Walked Out That Door

No matter how I try

Nobody Ever Felt The Same

I just cant say goodbye and lose her

He Always Came Back & This Time On Time

Cuz her heart, her heart wont let me lose her

His Tears Fell On My Face

No matter how hard I try

He Kept Rocking Me & Holding On To Me So Tight

I just cant say goodbye and lose her

I Felt Weak & Helpless

No matter how hard I try

I Got This I Don't Need Help

I just cant say goodbye and lose her

I Began To Push Him Back Until I Was Out Of His Deathly Grasp

No matter how I try

I Walked Away Not Looking Only To Fall From Glass Sticking In My Foot

I just cant say goodbye and lose her

Only For Him To Come To My Rescue Once Again

I Don't Have This

I Never Did And Probably Never Will Without Him

I just can't say goodbye.