Heartless

❆ Twenty-Seven ❆

Twenty Seven

There was no sign of another woman in the room other than Lumea, but I knew I hadn't imagined the conversation when I glimpsed a tear rolling down her cheek. She mumbled a quick goodnight and disappeared through the closed door, leaving the two of us alone.

    Beast didn't look at me as he went over to the fire and tossed in another log. Ember shot up near his face, but, just like last time, he barely noticed and continued what he was doing. A certain sag haunted his movements even as he stood up and made his way to peel back the neat duvet covering his bed. The room hadn't changed since the last time I'd been in it, but in that moment it felt as if the entire world had just flipped on its head. Menda had asked him if he loved me and he hadn't answered. I ignored the painful twist of my heart and focused on the bigger problem. Did that mean he was incapable of breaking the curse, damning him and the others for the rest of their lives? My knees trembled with the effort to keep them from buckling.

    Beast stopped his fussing and sat on the edge of the bed. He was already barefoot and in his sleepwear, whereas I hadn't changed out of my clothes since my bath this morning; but it wasn't his attire that bothered me. It was how he never met my gaze and kept his head lowered. Something about it made my pulse lurch.

    "You weren't meant to hear any of that," he said, after several minutes of tense silence.

    "So I gathered," I replied curtly, hurt that he wouldn't look at me. "Menda lives on the mountain, doesn't she? That's who you had business with the morning we got the letter from Hendric." He nodded stiffly. I swallowed. "How did she know that I ran into the tunnels?" But I already had an idea of how she knew, and his deliberate turn away from me only confirmed it: Menda was the creature. I didn't know what she was, he had said. What was she? A witch, a demon? A monster sent from the depths of hell to prevent people like me from escaping Beast's grasp?

    "Sit with me?" he asked softly, desperation clear in his voice. I didn't move, my nerves burning to take a step away from him instead of toward him. Finally, he lifted his head and met my gaze. The lack of iron in his eyes shattered every fear and doubt inside me. "Please don't be afraid of me."

    "I-I'm not, I just... I don't understand." I crossed the room to him in slow strides. His large hands tangled with mine as he pulled me down to sit beside him. His eyes bored into me with such agony that I felt tears spring to my eyes. "Beast, what is happening?" I whispered. What was happening? Not just about the curse, but between us. He said he didn't love me, but then why was he looking at me with nothing but?

    His hands fell from mine to hold my face, his thumb swiping a tear from my cheek. I leaned into his touch and closed my eyes, sighing at the waves of calm that flowed through me. "You happened, Adaira. Ever since I was cursed, I have lived every night in constant pain and fear knowing that one day I will change into that monster and never be able to change back. Every night I have felt the pain of the change, even on the days where it didn't happen. And every year I have felt a part of my humanity slip away to a place where I know I will never be able to get it back. But then you stumbled into the middle of your brother's offering and everything changed. Before you came here, I felt the pain when I had to change and every night in between. Now the only time I feel it is when I'm not with you."

    My eyes shot open. My entire being froze at his words. I couldn't breathe or stop the tears from dripping down my cheeks. His thumbs eagerly waited to wash them away, his eyes shimmering with some of his own. "Beast..."