Water Whiskey

chapter 4

The clock read two o'clock. We decided to skip the market at noon and just stay inside all day. After I had told Sean about my drinking he was upset. He wasnt mad. It was more of a sorrow afterwards. In my opinion, that isnt any better. 

We let the time pass while watching tv. Sean had made popcorn and we sat with a soft blanket. Liquor was the farthest thing from my head in those moments. 

A blue light illuminated the living room, giving shadows that lay on the curves of Seans face. He had been motionless. deep in sleep. Part of me felt bad for letting him sleep. He probably really wanted to go out today. 

My ears began to burn realizing that i likely was causing an issue. Sean was on my couch asleep all because of my stupid habit. I sat on the couch, my breathing getting caught. My anxiety level began to get higher. Lifting my hands to pick myself up, I moved from the couch  to the kitchen, making sure I was careful enough to not wake up the body next to mine.

The kitchen tiles are very cold to my suprise. Suppose that would be my fault for not wearing socks in the middle of fall. I weakly smiled after i saw the autumn leaves outside. The sun was already down by  this time but the porch light gave enough to where i could see the trees. 

My feet stood infront of the refrigerator holding my joints and limbs above them. 'aching' moaned my limbs. 'its okay' my mind whispered, my lips staying completely silent. 'Soon enough, you will get your way.'

A green liquor bottle calmly sat there on the white shelves of my fridge. I inhaled softly, reaching for the labelled beverage as I whispered incoherently to myself about how cold it is in my house. 

Lips soften as i hold the drink to them. I lean my head back. 

"I really wish you wouldnt, Felix." said a voice coming from the doorway. 

my head ducked forward as i immediately put down the glass bottle, whipping the whiskey off of my facial hair.

"oh, Sean," i started, trying to formulate an apology and an exuse all in the same second.

"look Felix, you dont have to come up with an exuse. You just gotta tell me why." He said, stepping over to me, closing the fridge.

I didnt know how to say the answer to that. Would he even fathem why i decided to drink? would it be weird if he knew that i drank because i ruined his day? 

"I woke up and saw you next to me and i felt bad because i know that we made plans but I ruined those plans so you had to stay here and im so sorry tha-" 

Sean laughed and interrupted me. 

"ha! Felix, if I didnt want to be here I could have damn well gotten up and left. As for our plans being 'ruined' you're wrong. I only made those plans so that I could see you and be with you because we never hangout anymore and I miss you." 

A smile spread accross his face. His beautiful blue eyes glowed. It was as if i was looking into the ocean. So warm and cold all at the same time. Pure joy filled me and i could feel myself begin to smile. 

"Do you mind if i sleep here tonight? Id rather stay with you than stay alone in my appartment because it gets super lonely, ya' know?" Said Sean as we stood in my kitchen in almost complete darkness.

"yeah sure," I said, "I could sleep on the couch tonight if you dont want to share my bed." 

Sean declined my offer, saying that he didnt mind staying in the same bed as me. I complied and we made our way up the stares to my bedroom, bringing the soft blanket with us from the couch.