Shadows

34.

'you sound like a dying cat' Blake interrupted my singing.

'thanks' I say like the boy who got an avocado.

'you needed to hear the truth' he nodded

'sometimes I wonder why I even like you' I sigh.

Blake chuckled, grabbed my hand and walked with me out the school. both Blake and I stayed at school after it was over. originally we had the plan to do our homework but we mostly just talked and laughed, we laughed a lot.

'are your parents home?' I asked

'no, both working late' he nodded slowly.

'you want to eat at my house then?' I asked

'you sure that's okay?'

'come on Blake, both my parents love you. you're always welcome' I told him. 'plus my mom is making-'

I stopped as soon as his eyes drifted off to something.

'what' I almost whispered as I followed his gaze.

It ended at a woman, she's probably the same age as my mom, her face was covered in makeup, she was wearing a pink juicy couture tracksuit with Uggs.

2004 called, they want their clothes back.

'Blake, who is that?' I asked

'Blakie boy' the woman screeched as she ran towards Blake and gave him a hug. Blake didn't hug her back, he just stared at the place the woman used to stand.

'mom' he seemed completely in shock.

'mom?' I frowned as I backed up to give them some space.

Why was he in such a big shock because of his mom?

'I've missed you so much Blake boy, what has it been, 10 years' the woman smiled excitedly

'10 years?' I exclaimed

'no mom, 11 years and 8 months' Blake still didn't look at her

'well' she pulled on his jacket 'it seems like yesterday'

What the fuck is going on?

'what are you doing here mom?' Blake asked, he was so calm he almost looked angry.

'I came to visit you' her mom stated the obvious, at least she thought it was. I have no idea what is going on and what they are thinking.

Finally Blake broke his stare and looked at his mom. 'what do you want?'

'I wanted to see you, so came visit you?' him mom smiled

'you never just want to see me, mom' Blake said loudly.

His moms facial expression went from smiling to surprised

'this time I do just want to see you, is that so hard to believe?' she put her hand on Blake's arm

'yes' Blake snapped

'you're acting weird Blakie boy, why is that?' his mom asked

'you really want to know what's going on' the volume of Blake's voice got louder and louder until he was yelling.

'yes I do, I'm your mom' she frowned

'you don't deserve to call me mom, okay. I maybe your son biologically but I don't feel connected to you in any way'

Woah, woah, woah, what's going on here. He's saying some risky stuff.

'I'm still your mom Blake' her mom tired to grab his hand but he flinched

He scoffed and looked away 'you don't get it do you'

'I don't so please explain it to me' his mom practically begged.

'do you have any idea how it felt when you left' he yells 'you were just gone, and dad had to explain to me that you didn't love him anymore.'

'I'm sorry' his mom whined as she looked at the ground

'I was 6 mom. I was just a little kid and you left me for nothing. you weren't there for me. not when I got my first girlfriend, or when I was sick and I needed someone to take care of me, you weren't even there when I got my drivers license. You were never there, I had to do everything on my own, I had to rely on myself. You know dad worked more than he should and he would never be there for me, but still you left me. you left your son, your little kid, you left me'

Blakes eyes where as black as they used to be. I never realized they changed so much until now. They were black again, he had put up his mask again.

'I'm here now' his mom said

'it's too late mom. I'm turning 18 n less than a year. If you wanted to be my mom you should have came earlier, or even better, you should've never left at all.' Blake exclaimed

'I never know I hurt you this much'

'bullshit' Blake exclaimed 'you knew you hurt me. I heard you come in my room that night. You gave me a kiss on my head and told me you loved me. mom I heard you leave, and you never came back'

'until now'

'now is to late' he yelled 'I don't want you to be here now, you have left me and you don't deserve to come back. You fucked that up yourself'

Blake's mask was slowly falling off. his eyes stayed black but they filled with tears. I have never seen Blake cry so I knew this hurt him a lot.

'you forced me to grow up thinking I was nothing. I have spent my whole life thinking something must be wrong with me because you left. my whole life I have never felt happy and because of that I went in the wrong direction. You're the cause of that. Because of you I have used almost every drugs there is and I have spent the last 3 years of my life drinking and using girls. Everything I have done wrong is because of you'

Blake was now crying, he didn't allow it but he couldn't stop it either. Seeing him like that hurt me, he's hurt and his mom caused that, I can't even imagine how much that would hurt.

'I'm sorry' his mom wined again.

'no your not. Mom you don't give a shit about me. you didn't care then and you don't care now'

'I do care Blake, I am here now an di want to help you. you obviously need someone to help you get on the right road, maybe even to fix you' Blake's mom smiled at him.

'I already got her' Blake told him mom and finally looked up at me.

'what?' his mom said and looked back at me.

'that girl, her name is Christina and she helped me. without even knowing it' he scoffed and smiled small. 'she calms me down when I loose my temper, she loves me, she takes care of me, she cares about me'

I smiled through the tears that were also streaming down my face

'that girl there, she is the reason I haven't touched a drink or any sort of drugs in more than 3 months. She is the girl in my life that I love'

'that girl' his mom scoffed

'yes mom, that girl. I love her more than I have ever loved anyone in my life'