Catching flame

False hope

I focus on my breathing as I try to process what my doctor Susan told me. My tumours have grown the operation is to moved to next week. I watch as the tears flow down Rosie's face as my mum and dad clutch onto one another.

I bit my lip and stay quiet but on the inside I'm screaming sobbing. Why do I have to die why me? I think everyone takes life for granted they don't think about how special it is to live in this beautiful world full of beautiful people.

Before I found out about my disease I was depressed, Sad and lonely. I always wanted more from life and from everyone around me. The day I found out, I had a suicidal plan it's almost like fate I had my heartina attack just as I was about to leave to house to kill myself.

The next day when I was in the hospital, drips attached to me doctors surrounding me. I began to process I was going to die it was a different feeling than my suicidal thoughts gave me. This death I had no control over I couldn't change my mind or decide when it was inevitable.