The Diary of Me

#you

September 12th - 10:14 pm

Hi!

I just got home from somewhere. I'm not gonna say from where though, I'll let your mind play with that thought on its own. The point is that I noticed something tonight. Or maybe "realized" is the right word. I don't really know, but I know that it made me kind of sad and feel really selfish. This isn't something correct I've figured out, I just got a feeling. Okay, so, a lot of people feel bad today or is suffering from depression or anxiety and stuff. They all have this going on in their head and body all the time. They feel so alone and sometimes they're even suicidal. I'm not pointing you out and I'm trying not to say anything stupid because I really don't want to get misunderstood on this. I just feel like when a person that's suffering from, for example, anxiety finds another person that's suffering or has gone through the same thing, it feels like they connect. Like, they can relate to each other and to each other's feelings. They have finally found someone who feels like them and see things the same way. They are finally not alone. They have finally found someone that understands them.
At this place, where I just got home from, there are several people that are feeling bad and stuff and all they are trying to do is to help each other. And I get that and I have nothing against it, and I know that this is a really stupid thought. But I just feel like they can relate to each other on a totally different level. And I just feel like I'm kind of left out.
I get that I shouldn't think this way and that I should feel bad for those people and stuff, and believe me, I do, I really do. I can't even understand how hard and annoying it must be to not be able to always feel happy, or you get what I mean. I could sit here the whole night explaining this, but I hope you get what I mean and not get offended, because I don't want anything less than to offend you.
But these people can talk about this stuff with each other, but I can't. Or I mean, of course, they can talk to me too, but I don't really understand, you know? I haven't been through the same stuff, I can't relate to their feelings. So, I can get quite jealous when two people are talking about this stuff because I can't really participate in the conversation. I have nothing to participate with. And I'm not saying that having some kind of mental illness is good or that I want it myself, but I just feel like I'm outsider sometimes. They help each other and they have a reason to hang out with each other. That may be the only reason why they are hanging out with each other. But since I don't have that reason, I have no reason. I have no reason to hang out with a certain person.
I gotta go now though because it's getting late, but I'll probably write more about this someday, just not today. I really don't want to offend anyone and if you're easily offended then maybe you should stop reading now because I really don't want to hurt anybody. I just needed somewhere to vent and I felt like this was the only place to do it. Hope you all had a great day!

- A Tired Alien