Seeing Shane Gray ✓

five | hurt

*.*.*.*.*.*

September 6

"I can come with you," Marla says, peeking at my face as I slump back in my seat and attempt to focus on cramming for the test.

I've just devoured the Oreos she handed me because I felt like I would die if I didn't eat something right away. Not only that but the loud grumbling of my stomach was beginning to make the class laugh. Thankfully, my friends aren't totally shitty so when Marla handed me the blue packet, I smiled at her and finished it straight up.

I try focusing on the teacher standing at the front of the class. She's ticking off the names of the students who have handed in their assignments. I'd managed to get mine done, falling asleep last night with my head over the laptop keyboard. I left a long line of random xcz's halfway across the page. If not for Racheal's call to ask me a question about which country had lost world war II or if I agreed with her that there are no losers or winners in war, I wouldn't even have woken up to finish my paper.

"Tay." Marla nudges my arm. "Let's go to the damn nurse here if you won't see a physician."

I can't help but smile, turning a sarcastic gaze to Marla.

"She's going to give me a bandage and that lollipop poisoned with sugar and tell me to have a nap," I remind her. "You really think that's going to help me?"

Marla sighs, curling one of her dreadlocks on her finger and staring into the distance as her eyes glaze over.

"I'm fine," I reassure my friend.

"I'm worried you're not taking care of yourself," she answers, turning her concerned gaze to me. She's way taller than I am, hunched over so nobody will hear our whispered conversation.

It's not like we're the only ones talking in class. Everyone is waiting for the bell to ring so we can all get out of here and prepare for the football match tonight. On Fridays, nobody in Gordon Blake High has any concern except watching the second match of the series that will determine which team moves to the regionals. Riley, though, wants to know which great college Carlos will get into on football scholarship. Only then can she stalk him there.

"Have you seen how pale you are?" Marla asks.

"Isn't that a good thing? I'll finally be white," I joke.

Marla, who absolutely despises the mention of skin-color and how it makes a difference, puffs out her lips and narrows her eyes. Despite being black, she has never been discriminated against, maybe because she's always so nice to everyone. Not to mention she has the sass of a queen and can slay with her words so nobody dares mess with her.

Nobody messes with me either even though I'm not white either. It's always been a mystery to me why Carter got more racial slurs than I did. We looked nearly the same and yet he was the one people teased. Maybe having supportive friends around me helped me fit in better than Carter ever could. He just never belonged.

"You talk to your mom and dad?" she asks me seriously.

I let out a laugh and fold my arms across my chest, sliding further down in my seat.

"Like it'll make a difference. They don't even hear me anymore," I admit, quickly adding, "but on the bright side, I can stay out late tonight because we no longer have family weekends."

I raise my hand and make a victory sign with my first two fingers, flashing a bright smile. Marla isn't amused, facing the front when the bell rings and students begin to get out of their seats.

"Okay, students, see you next week!" The teacher attempts to say goodbye but the sudden ruckus drowns out her voice. The scraping of metal against concrete echoes in the room as students push their chairs back. Their excitement spreads like a contagion.