Married Virgin

1

Daniel's POV

I've been trying to explain this to Jay since the day I got married but he can't seem to understand and I can't explain it any better than I have been for the past four years. I was having a nice chat with Jay over some tea in his condo when the conversation, for some reason, devolved into my sex life.

"Our marriage is perfect Jay, I married my high school sweetheart, we have a beautiful daughter-"
"But you're still a virgin?"
"Y-yeah"
"I don't get it what's the hold up? You're married"
"I-I'm waiting for the perfect moment."
"Daniel, it's your husband, every moment should be perfect." He chuckled
"W-well, it's not."
"And why is that?"
"No marriage is perfect Jay, we barely even have time for that now that we have Mira."
"Yet you had plenty of time on the lovely honeymoon you two had."
"I wasn't ready then Jay!"
"Are you ready now?"
"Of course not!"
"Then don't blame your daughter and use the "we don't have time" excuse."
"I'm not I just- you'd understand if you got married."
"I doubt that."
I let out a frustrated sigh.
"You want to know what I think?" He asked, sitting back in his chair like a king would his throne.
"Not really."
"Too bad." He paused to take a sip of his tea not breaking eye contact before continuing. "I think your husband isn't your guy."
"Excuse me?"
"Think about it, you don't want to have sex with him even though you've been together since sophomore year, got married and have a kid! What other explanation is there?"
"Oh I don't know, maybe that I just don't want to have sex!"
He shook his head with a doubtful look on his face.
"I don't think that's it."

There was a long pause between us for a second as we both helped ourselves to the sweets Jay's butler provided until Jay finally spoke up.

"Have you ever imagined yourself with anybody else?"
"Of course not! I'm married!"
"What about before?"

This one actually made me think, usually when Jay goes on about one of his theories of why I won't do it with my husband he's way off the mark or it's just too ridiculous to consider, but this time...he's actually onto something. When I think back, sure I wanted to be with a lot of people but no one it would've worked out with. Crystal, jumped to conclusions too quickly, Zack, only gay when drunk, Vasco, he has Jace, and I'm sure there were more but....nothing I'd act on.

"Not that I know of...."

There was another pause, but unlike previously, this one lasted much longer and as I waited for Jay's next words he opened and closed his mouth a few times as if he was debating on what to say.

"Could you see yourself with me?"

Huh?

"I'm sorry, what?"

"With me. Could you see yourself in a relationship with me? At any point, back then or now."

I'd never really thought of Jay like that, sure in high school I had a crush on him but once I started dating my husband, I had to let go of those things. As he said to me when I confided in him about my feelings, "Something as fleeting as a crush needs to be left behind." And I agreed with him.

Hey it's been years, I'm over those feelings, I'm sure it's fine to tell him now.

"Yeah I guess I could, back in our freshman year."

And with that he went silent again, lost in thought, occasionally sipping his tea, and looking from my face to my wedding ring and then back to my face.