Just a Dare

Chapter Fifteen

I turned away when I saw tears glistening on her cheeks. "I told you that you didn't want to know." I muttered.

The bed groaned as she sat up. "Trey, that's not it at all." she said softly. She got up and came around to stand in front of me before putting her knees on either side of my waist and sitting on my thighs. One hand threaded through my hair, her delicate fingers gently sifting it through them, and the other hooked around my neck.

I looked up at her, drowning in her emerald eyes. She blinked and fresh tears rolled down her face. Our faces were so close that I could have counted each individual freckle on her cheeks and nose, so close that I could see tiny droplets of moisture clinging to her full, dark lashes. I reached up to cup her cheeks almost hesitantly, as if she would break if I was too rough with her, brushing away her tears with my thumbs. "Then why are you crying?"

There was a moment of silence in which the only sounds were our shallow breathing and the steady, rhythmical beating of our hearts.

Her hand slid from my hair to my neck, bringing herself so close to me that our chests were flush against each other. "Because I know you blame yourself for all of it, when it wasn't your fault." I let out a ragged sigh, leaning away from her.

Did she even know what she had just said? It was my fault. The evidence was all there.

I was suffocating, drowning, dying in that moment, and when had it gotten so fucking hot in here?

I was burning, smoldering, ripping apart from the inside out.

My eyes burned. My heart ached.

It was my fault. No matter what anyone said, it was all my fault.

If I hadn't yelled at him, he would've still been here! If I had just kept my anger in check, Jade could've grown up with a father! And if she didn't hate me for it now, she would later.

"Shh," Melody's voice was soothing and full of light, and I shied away from it in the dark corner of my head that I had sunk into. "I'm here for you." Soft hands caressed my face, anchoring me to reality.

I blinked and I was back and I was still Trey, and Mel was there, constant and strong. I was so utterly lost, and I registered the tears that were slipping down my face. "You-" my voice was hoarse, the word cracking as I forced it past my dry tongue. "You can't say that it's not my fault." My tone was doubtful, almost accusing.

She did not cringe or turn away. Instead, she said, "Yes I can."

"Why?"

I felt so small, like I was a little boy again hiding behind my mother's skirt as a few different nurses rushed around my father to hold him back as he had another seizure in his hospital bed. "He's okay, Trey," she would say, "He always comes back to us."

"Because you are a good person, Trey." Mel answered. "And I'm sure that your dad knows that you didn't mean it. I promise, he doesn't hold it against you. Your dad loves you."

I couldn't think of anything to say to this beautiful, amazing girl before me. She stood by me no matter what, encouraging me to be the good person she could see hidden deep inside of me. I felt that same wave of longing that I felt at the hospital when I saw her lying unresponsive in that hospital bed, the ache to be that person. For her. For Jade, my mom.

For myself.

I felt something stirring inside of me and realized that my cold heart, frozen over for so long by self-hatred and sadness and anger, had finally been thawed out.

I leaned forward and nudged her nose with mine. "What would you say," I murmured, "if I were to ask if I could kiss you?"

She only tilted her head upward, her lips connecting with mine in response. And unlike our first kiss which had been fused with desperation and haste, this particular one was slow and gentle. I wanted to show her rather than tell her how much I cared about her, how thankful I was for her.