A Secret Letter to My First Crush

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   They say one can never forget our first crush. You were my childhood friend, together we created so many beautiful memories of our childhood days, but you don't know that you were my very first crush too. I ardently remember your sense of humor and your ability to turn any serious occasion into a series of unstoppable laughter.

   It was quite a big move for our family, our first overseas travel from India and trying to settle down in the small suburban neighborhood in Michigan was a tremendous effort. Even worse for me, leaving all my friends back home, first time in a different country, new school, a new environment. There you were, our next door neighbor, a skinny boy, an energetic jester. I was so glad I found you when I did. We were the crazy duo who were capable of making a room as serene as our neighborhood church, cacophonous.

   I always held you responsible for all troubles we got into, but to be honest my childish mind failed to see streak of intelligence behind all those crazy, abnormal ideas and spontaneous ramblings. I understand now that maybe back then our teachers saw a brilliant mind behind a clownish mask, maybe that's why they put up with your constant interruptions in the classroom. I used to get good grades but you managed to stay excellent all through our school days. But how? While I was contemplating algebra, you would be running after your favorite soccer ball, kicking it and tripping over . Either that or you would be at my house, sweet-talking my mom to make your favorite desserts. How can somebody act dumb and manage to score top grades consecutively? That was you, my best friend and my high school sweetheart.

   You were my high school sweetheart but I never told you this. I guess the reason for not telling you was maybe such feelings were new to me and I thought its wrong to deviate my attention from studies or even worse, afraid of loosing your friendship and I value our friendship over anything else, the most purest and precious gift I ever received . But if I had told you how I felt, what would you have said? Was I just your best friend? Have you ever felt like asking me out on a date? I am almost sure I would have never received a straight answer from you. It does not matter anymore. A decade and more had passed since then, now I have my life and you have yours. We are happy in our worlds and for both our sake and that of our families, its better to leave some questions unanswered.

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