Language 一 SanWoo ; EunSan.

one.

Up to this point, EunWoo had fully accepted that SanHa would never like him the same way he did. It didn't matter the amount of hugs, affection, or compliments he gave the younger, he would never receive one as a reward. Unless, SanHa had only responded out of respect.

EunWoo's mom once told him that if he loved someone but had no courage to say it, he could at least try to show it with actions and wait until the other person found out. The problem was that EunWoo didn't know if SanHa was super innocent to acknowledge it or if he already found out and preferred to keep quiet.

He sighed, since his trainee days he felt a spark of curiosity that dragged him to that kid with auburn hair and thick glasses, that were later replaced with contacts.

He grabbed the thick blankets of his bed and covered himself up to the face, trying to forget his self-deprecating thoughts, but it was impossible. And what was worse, it was already the third night where he couldn't almost sleep due to his head only dedicated itself to regret the lack of love he received.

It was not that SanHa didn't like him, EunWoo was fully conscious that the younger had affection towards him, as the rest of the members, mostly because EunWoo was always the first one listening to the compositions the younger did or the songs he learned to play on the guitar. SanHa was always excited when he asked EunWoo to hear his music and EunWoo would always accept.

EunWoo knew SanHa liked him, but just like an older brother. And that was what he absolutely despised. He would have preferred if SanHa didn't like him and always ignored him, that way he could suffer less while trying to get over him, but knowing SanHa had affection towards him, he believed he had an opportunity with him, breaking him on the process.

He grunted at a low volume, and closed his eyes with force. He turned on his bed to get on a fetal position. He stayed like that for a long time, with his eyes completely open even when his mind was telling him to sleep.

He thought about waking up MoonBin, who was sleeping on the same room, tell him to go to the kitchen with him, pour a glass of apple juice for both and start to pour his feelings out to him. But he remembered that it was a little bit after 2 am and probably if he woke him up MoonBin would be mad with him for the rest of the day.

He exhaled and got out of the blankets completely, he sat at the edge of his bed, put his bare feet on the floor and got up carefully, praying so that the wood floor wouldn't creak.

Thank god it didn't.

He started walking carefully without turning on the lights, he spent almost 2 years living on the dorms with the members and he knew the place like the back of his hand. Also, his eyes got accustomed to the dark.

He walked to the fridge and opened it carefully, the light of it blinding him. Once he adapted to the light, he looked inside it. There wasn't even apple juice. He rolled his eyes, everything was going wrong.

He stretched his arm and picked up a bottle of water. He closed the fridge and heard the little scrunch of the lid of the bottle of water when he opened it. He took a little sip, even if he didn't actually put a lot on his mouth. But he needed to be distracted by something and he only thought about having cold water on the middle of winter.
It wasn't the best idea, but there was not much to do.

He waited some minutes while leaning on the kitchen table, taking little sips of his water while thinking on some insignificant subjects.

He lowered his eyes, letting his black hair fall on his forehead and closed his eyes slowly for some seconds. He felt stupid, why couldn't he fall in love with someone else? Or even better, why did he even fall in love at all?

He closed the bottle and put it on the fridge, which he closed with a lot of force creating a loud sound. For his luck, everyone was too tired to wake up.

He passed his hands through his hair, placing it to the back and started walking towards the couch to lean on it. He was positive that if the couch was not against the wall, he would have moved it a few inches back because of how much force he threw his body to it.

He inhaled and exhaled a few times, when will everything end? When they separate on a few years? When he meets someone? When he understands that SanHa doesn't love him the same way he does?

EunWoo felt lost at that moment.

He leaned on the back of the couch, threw his head back and closed his eyes. And unexpectedly, he fell asleep.