fear of falling | matsuhana au

4 - behind closed doors

the party went on and on, hanamaki was sat in the boy's room for about an hour, when he heard a loud noise. it sounded like someone knocking, but it wasn't at this door. then he heard a muffled noise over all of the noises of the party. the party seemed to stop all at once, the music died down and hanamaki heard the muffled noise again.

"OPEN UP! POLICE!" makki's heart stopped for a moment as he listened to the intense shuffling behind the door. he assumed everyone was hiding bottles and weed, it sounded like people were climbing out of the windows. hanamaki got up and locked the door, just in case. then he listened as he heard the cops walk in. he pressed his ear against the door, attempting to hear their conversations but he heard nothing. he did recognize oikawa's voice though. eventually he heard the police leave and footsteps approaching him. he unlocked the door and rushed back over to the bed to try and act natural. the door opened, revealing a very exhausted, and clearly even more intoxicated than when he last saw him, mattsun. behind him was oikawa, he pushed past the wavy haired boy.

"what happened?" makki asked, almost rhetorically.

"makki, oh thank god," oikawa was also very clearly intoxicated. he hopped onto the bed, pouncing onto hanamaki, "i couldn't find you, i got so scared!" he babbled.

"are you drunk or high?"

"or," matsukawa said bluntly as he walked in and fell, face first, onto the bed.

"...i had a bit of both as well," the brunet admitted.

"oikawaaa!" hanamaki whined, "how're we getting home?" he asked.

"don't be silly, we'll just sleep here," he reassured the boy, patting him on his head as he hopped off the bed. "you can sleep in the living room," he suggested, taking makki's hand in his.

"mnh nh," matsukawa grumbled in protest. he brought his arm up, tossing it over hanamaki's waist.

"stop that, you dumb slut," oikawa swatted at his arm. the wavy haired boy turned his face to look up at them both.

"those couches are hard as a brick and it gets cold out there," he said, "you can sleep here,"

"he isn't staying with you, you hyper-sexual dog,"

"i'll go sleep on the couches," he said, sitting up. "and...for your information, i'm h-e-t-r-o-sexual," he said, his speech slightly slurred.

"you're hetrosexual?" oikawa asked distastefully.

"hetero,"

oikawa looked at the boy, unamused. "i know, i don't trust straight boys," he said, "especially not you," he added, "so, go,"

"this is stupid, matsu, you should just stay," hanamaki let go of oikawa's hand and got up. he gathered a few pillows and created a pillow wall, down the middle of the bed. "just-" he gestured towards the side where matsukawa was sitting. "your side," then he gestured towards his, "mine,"

"mmmmmmmkay," matsukawa plopped back onto the bed, face first again.

"makki, no..." oikawa said then looked at hanamaki who seemed determined to sleep there, "you....sure about this?" he asked.

"he's iwaizumi's friend and roommate," he whispered, "iwaizumi's the strictest person i know when it comes to choosing who he surrounds himself with," he said, "there's no way he'd live with someone he didn't like,"

oikawa nodded a few times, "i guess you're right..." he said, "no, you're right, i might hate him but iwa-chan doesn't and there's nothing iwa-chan hates more than a creep," he said, "you're right,"

"night dude," hanamaki said as he got into his side of the bed.

"g'night, text me if anything," oikawa said as he left. as soon as the door shut, matsu's head perked up. he grabbed one of the pillows from in between them, hugging it and placing his chin onto it.

"pssst," he whispered, trying to get hanamaki's attention even though...hanamaki was already looking at him.

"hi,"

"hi," matsukawa whispered. "i was just thinking..."

oh god. isn't this kind of how kenji phrased his sentence on their first date. the sentence he used to start seducing me.

"like..." he paused, "how the fuck are we gonna time travel in the future, if we fuckin' invented time,"

oh?

"what?" makki replied.

"listen," he began, "time literally doesn't exist, right?" he furrowed his brows, "we just saw the sun come and go and were like 'hey that should probably mean something' then we labeled it as a day, and time," he rambled on. "time doesn't exist, it's just labels that we made up to keep track of the stars and shit, right?" he asked rhetorically then quickly went on, "so how the fuck do people think we're going to be able to travel through something we made up?"

"i mean..."

"there's no future, no past, only the present and our memories," he said, shutting his eyes as if he were about to pass out. hanamaki absentmindedly admired the boy's soft features as he closed his eyes. he was unnaturally captivating, makki couldn't help but stare.

holy fuck, he's beautiful, what the fuck. he thought, then he snapped out of it, averting his eyes as he tried to think of kenji.

matsukawa opened up one eye, peeking at the pink haired boy who was staring up at the ceiling. "i don't mean to make this awkward," he said, makki's eyes shot over to him. "but i've never met anyone as beautiful as you," he said, his voice a bit muffled from the pillow covering half of his mouth. "no homo," he added sleepily.

hanamaki's heart skipped a beat and he felt his cheeks heat up profusely, "oh yeah?" he asked rhetorically. "well, you're not too bad yourself," he brought the covers over himself, turning onto his side to face matsukawa. "pretty well groomed for a straight guy,"

"yeah..." he trailed off, "you're gay right?"

"right,"

"what's that like?"

"what d'you mean?"

"how did your parents react?"

"fine," he lied.

"your friends?"

"well, most of my friends are queer too," hanamaki informed the boy with a subtle shrug.

"do you have a boyfriend?"

"...kind of," what's with the interrogation?

"is he cute?"

"yes,"

"cuter than me?"

"next question,"

"are you a virgin?"

hanamaki hesitated before responding, "no,"

matsukawa thought for a moment before sleepily replying, "doesn't really matter, virginity's a social construct,"

marry me.

"is that your natural hair color?" mattsun continued.

"yes,"

"can you prove it?" he joked.

"sure," hanamaki said, pointing up at his eyebrows.

"hmm...clever..." matsukawa hummed. then he shut his eyes, once again about to pass out. hanamaki shuts his eyes as well. "makki..." he heard matsukawa whisper.

"hm?"

"will you be gone when i wake up?" he asked softly.

he replied hesitantly, "i don't know,"

"i hope you aren't,"

"me too,"