It all started as a tiny little thing I wouldn't even call a crush.
I could still talk to him and look at him at the same time.
My heart wouldn't start beating fast whenever I heard his name.
I could tell my friends I didn't like him.
I could tell myself I didn't like him.
But all that went away way too soon.
I couldn't even look at him.
I started questioning myself, my style, my hobbies, my appearance.
I started to think that he didn't like me because I wasn't pretty like all the other girls.
I don't have long hair, I'm not skinny, and I'm awkward in a bad way.
Maybe he didn't like my personality.
Or maybe just because I was as quiet as a striper in church around him.
I don't like to think of myself this way but I can't really help it when I have all these feelings.
His girlfriend has long hair, and she's skinny.
I'm not popular, not that I want to be.
He says I'm ugly and that I'm gay, which I'm not.
He's a plain ass, and I don't even know why I like him.
Maybe it's because he has a great sense of humor, he's hot and that's about it.
I left school thinking I liked him so much.
This summer I was free from my feelings.
Until my stupid brother had him over and I was head over heals again.
He got so tall.
I can't even.
I can't fucking even.
But thank god I finally realized I don't actually like him.
I like tall boys and them being hot is a bonus.
I hope I'm not in denial.
I don't like him.
He's just hot.
