Freeverse poetry or stories (sometimes)

A poem I had no idea what to name

Was "us" ever really a thing that could be?
Or was I delusioned from the beginning?
Had fates played the cards that for all I could see,
Before we started it was already ending?

I used to love you, adore you. stayed up nights thinking of you,
splendid, ascended the seventh heavens.
but who are you?
I know you as God is known by heathens.

I stay up thinking of you, who were you, who are you?
I used to stay up thinking how I could make you and me.
I used to look into the mirror to see ugly, without a clue,
That what I am was hidden behind a mask, a mask of false beauty.

Go, go, go. I keep running with that purpose.
Fly, fly, fly, I keep dreaming of that future.
But fall, fall, fall, It's crumbling, I suppose.
Die, die, dying, a dream I could not withhold.

Like the cold stares we pass each other nowadays,
what was warm smiles like breezes in sunny days.
I walked with dejection, sorrow, seeing you in the hallways.
I run with joy, uncaring of heated stares, into the sun's rays.

You used to be the center of my universe,
The star I revolved around,
You were the earth to my satellite moon,
The four leafed clover in a field of daisies.

I used to want to be someone else,
Hiding behind a mask, emotions in a flask.
I used to change to be someone else,
Killing myself, suffocating me.
In the ruse of a normal girl,
I lost myself, in a whirlwind of emotions,
I don't care, I don't care,
I love myself, I love myself.