*ON HAITUS* Unknown. || h.s

Three.

FIRST  AND SECOND CHAPTER of my Niall Horan fanfic Find Me is now up!! please please please check it out xx much love

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I wake up curled up in blankets, my face red and puffy from crying all night, and Niall lying beside me in his bed.  He's on his back, sprawled out over the bed leaving me squished and nearly falling off the edge.  He snores quietly as I try to remember the blur of angry words and red faces from last night.  My eye catches Niall's packed suitcase in the corner of his room and my heart sinks.

I climb out of the bed and pad into the kitchen, pulling out the kettle to make some tea.  My head and throat are aching from yelling, my eyes sensitive and stinging from the incessant crying I did when I arrived at Niall's.

This all feels so familiar, and not in a good way at all.  I've woken up in Niall's bed many times before, all after nights of arguing with Harry.  I've always woken up early, made myself tea and left before he woke up to go back home, sending him a thank you over text afterwards.  I don't do that this time though.  I have no intention on leaving before Niall wakes up, I have no intention on heading back across the hall.  I have no desire to speak to Harry.

I hoist myself up onto the counter and pull my dark hair over one shoulder while I wait for the water to boil, reaching behind me and pulling out two mugs from the cupboard.  It's only about eight in the morning, meaning I only had about four hours of sleep.  There's no way I could sleep anymore, there's too much running through my head and keeping me awake.

I shut my eyes and breath, willing all my thoughts to leave me.  I don't want to think about this fight being the beginning of my worst fears.  This is the reason I never wanted to associate with Harry when I first returned to New York, because I didn't want a repeat of the worst year in my life.  It took such a toll on me, there's no way I'd ever go back to that hell.

It's been almost smooth sailing up to this point, and I'm more than praying that this is a one time thing, but there's still a nagging in the back of my mind telling me to look out.

"You're up early," Niall says, walking into the kitchen and sitting on the counter across from me.

"Couldn't sleep," I shrug, looking down at my swinging feet.  The kettle boils and I pour the water over the teabags in the cups, watching the color swirl around.

"I could imagine," Niall mumbles, jumping off the counter as I do and taking his mug from me.

We're both silent while we sip our tea, each consumed in our own thoughts.  Niall was beyond mad when I showed up at his door last night, he couldn't believe that Harry had driven me out.  I don't know what I would have done if Niall hadn't moved across the hall.  Maybe having him here is just presenting a way for me to run away from my problems instead of facing them.  I don't care anymore, facing them is not something that usually works out in my favor.

"I noticed that you're packed," I mutter, my eyes flicking up to Niall's.

"Yeah, it was easier to just keep some things packed when I moved in.  Less of a hassle later on," he explains.  I nod slowly, and let out a sigh at which he furrows his eyebrows.  "Are you having second thoughts?"

"No, no.  I really want to do this, it's something I need to do," I assure him and he nods.  "I'm just dreading telling him."

"I know," Niall sighs, moving beside me and wrapping an arm over my shoulder.  "He loves you, you know that right?"

"I do," I whisper, knowing it's true but struggling to see how this can be love.

We stand there for a moment before we're startled by a knock at the door.  I stop breathing, nearly dropping my mug.  My stomach sinks and I feel like crying all over again, not ready to face him.  I know it's him.