nine

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the third time chan planned
to give a girl a rose,
he had almost left his house
when he noticed his reflection in the mirror,
chills arising despite the closed door.

he realised how he had never realised,
when the bags had started forming,
or when his skin had gotten as dull
and faded as the logo
of his over-worn sweatshirt.

and he realised
he had never realised,
when he had stopped
recognising
himself.

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