She's broken and he's in a band//M.C Fanfic

11.I'm sorry I'm a monster inside

The rest of the boys and girls went out but me and Michael stayed in and decided to watch a movie. I was lying on Michael and he had his arm over my stomach. I decided to change into some pjs but couldn't get up cause Michael had his arms wrapped around me. "Mikey.. can you release your grip so I can change into some different clothes?" I said looking at him. "but I want to cuddle you more." he whined. I smiled at his childishness. "please mikey I won't be long." I said wiggling in his arms. "Fiiine but hurry up I like your cuddles." he smiled. I laughed and got up from where we were lying down and went to my bag and grabbed my toothbrush and tooth paste and grabbed some pjs. I Went into the bathroom and changed my clothes and brushed my teeth. I was searching through my little bag to  find my hair tie but found my pill bottle. I opened it and took out the razor inside of the bottle. I sat on top of the toilet lid for a good 10 minutes twirling the blade in my hand. I felt tear starting to brim my eyes. I heard a knock on the bathroom floor followed by Mikey's voice "Ellie? Are you ok you've been in there for a while." he said. I could hear the concern in his voice. "Yeah I'm fine." but my voice failed and cracked at the end "Ellie you're not ok in." Mikey said opening the door. Damn it forgot to lock that. He stood there mouth a gape staring at me I tried hiding the blade but he took it from me. "Ellie why do you have this?!" he asked scared and concerned. I stayed silent and didn't answer. "Ellie why do you have this?" he said again I looked up and saw tears filling his eyes. I got up and pushed past him and went into the lounge and sat in the corner and started to cry. Mikey came running in still holding the razor blade in his hand. "Ellie baby please tell me why you have this I promise I won't be mad at you. He said putting the razor down. I pushed my bracelets down and showed him the deep gashes I had in my arm along with the small cat like scratches. He looked at them and held me closely. "im sorry you're dating a monster." I said into his shoulder. " he pulled away and looked at me confused. "El you're not a monster you're just misunderstood. I don't care what anyone says you're my one and only girl. Just promise you won't ever do this again." Michael said holding out his pinky. I wrapped my pinky around his and promised him. I asked if he wouldn't tell the others and he promised. I took my blade and put it back in the bottle and gave it to Michael who threw it into the trash can. I sat on Michael's lap on the couch as we continued to watch the movie. "El?" Mikey said. "hmm" I said looking at him. "Why did you start cutting? Mikey asked. I looked down remembering the first time I ever did cut. " I started cutting After my sister Andrea died... My dad started doing drugs and my mom started drinking and then soon they were both on drugs and drinking. They became very very abusive. They were physically, verbally and emotionally abusive to me. They'd call me horrible horrible name's. And would kick me and punch me and Almost kill me. I remember starving myself and trying to get them to love me again like they used to but my mother said she hated me and wished I was never born I also remember trying to commit suicide one time I slit my wrists open but It didn't work.... They found out and beat me pretty badly that day. I started cutting deep and then cat scratch myself.I Was only in 3rd grade and I wanted to die so badly. I remember one day wanting to just never ever want to wake up. And then one day my dad overdosed on heroine when I was about 12 years old. And my mom almost killed me. She blamed me for his death when he was the one doing it. And about a year later about a month before my 13th birthday my mom blew her brains out. So I was taken away. I was put in foster care. and that's how marley and Jacob found me. I was a broken child like I still am now." I didnt realize we were both crying till I felt the tears hit my pants. Mikey was crying and wiping his eyes from what I told him. He pulled me in closer and hugged me tightly. "I promise El as long as you are with me I'll never let anyone hurt you." he said pulling me closer into him. I felt loved by Michael. He was so genuine and amazing. I snuggled into Michael until I heard the door open and saw everyone pile in to the bus I laughed as they were a bit tipsy. "Hey guys waz up." Ari slurred tripping over herself. I laughed at them cause they were hammered. They all lied on the floor and started to pass out. "lets go to bed el. We're going back on the road tomorrow." Mikey said. we walked to the bunks and he got in I got in with him and snuggled up to him and started to fall asleep in the comfort of his arms.

----------------------------------------------------------

Hope the book isnt to depressing or boring!

hope you all like it

Ily babes

-Ellie