Present May, 2013
Thinking about the past, how it started, how he came in my life, how he loved me and finally left me to suffer, I didn’t realize that the sun had already come up. My alarm tone brought me back to the present. Nine months gone, and I was still on the same day when we got separated, my wait was still on. Everybody used to call me stupid and crazy for still having feelings for the guy who is the reason for the state I am in. But I couldn’t make them understand why I still loved him. For me love is not a game. My feelings were true for him and the love I had for him (or I should say, I still have) is never going to die no matter what he did. He was the one who taught me to love, who showed me a wonderful world. How could I hate that guy!
Still two and a half were there to July 21, but somewhere in my heart I knew he wouldn’t come. Like all the other promises he made to me, he would break this one too. But the hope never dies. There was still a hope somewhere in my heart then he might show up, he might come back. People used to ask me if by any chance he comes back to you what would you do. I would give no answer because I myself didn’t know it. My heart wanted him back but if I listened to my mind, it would say me no.
I was in contact with one of his friends, from whom I used to ask how Rishabh and everything about him is. No matter we were not together now but he was still an important part of my life. The kind of life I was living after we got separated was no better than hell but I had no other choice. Without him, it is never going to feel better. Everyone asked me to move on, to forget him, to hate him but even after trying so hard I am unable to do any of these. So I had accepted this life. What else could I have done?
Finally these two and half months also passed away. It was now just a week left for 21 July. I called up Rishabh and told him that no matter he is going to come or not, I would go to the place where we decided to meet and would still wait for him because I don’t break promises.
July 21, 2013
I got up and got ready. I knew he is not coming but still I don’t know what thing was forcing me to keep my promise. So I went to the place. I sat there for a while thinking about him, about us, trying to figure out what went wrong when we loved each other so much. My phone’s screen flashed a message. It was from him.
“Why am I the bad guy with no fucking emotions? I’m a jerk or whatever, but why? This is the punishment I get for thinking sensibly and not ruining the lives of the two of us. The thing is you never understood me. Nobody does. That’s why I am a jerk, right?”
I could have said so many harsh things to him but don’t know what held me back. My heart melted and I replied to him.
“Rishabh, see the thing is I loved you the most in my life. I didn’t care for anyone but you. And I was ready to face any circumstance in the future if you were with me. No matter we would have fought, would have thought about killing each other one day but atleast we would have been together. But you didn’t care honey. I trusted you but you cheated on me. You broke me down very badly. Still I was ready to be with you. But you had something else going on your side. You think by taking this decision you have saved two lives? But baby, you have already ruined one. And maybe this is the reason why everyone thinks of you as a jerk.”
“You were so foolishly kiddish, that if you have understood everything in time then this would have never happened. But you never understood me.”
“It’s not that I never understood you. Ask anyone, I still say you were the best. I had faults and you never complained about it.”
“Yeah, that’s because I understood you. When time came, I needed you to understand me, you were helpless. You just fought with me.”
“I had told you very clearly Rishabh that I can’t see my importance in your life, can’t see if you need me anymore. I asked you to call me if you do. Very clearly I asked you to and told you that I’ll be waiting for your call, but you never did. If I were acting like a kid then you could have acted maturely and called me up. Just try to look it from my angle too. You cheated on me; you were taking me for granted. How difficult it was for me to trust you. But still I begged, I pleaded, for you to come back to me but what you did? You kicked me away. Is this the way you treat the one you claimed to love so much? I was waiting for you but you fell for another girl. I never thought our love was so weak. Was it? “
