One day, at The American Dream Tour.

Chris Motionless too?

I smile and nod. Yeah. I do.

He smiles at me and we go to get Ice cream. Once we order and sit down, he sits across from me and smiles at me. So, how are you liking things so far here..? I look down for a second with a smile. I love it. I honestly do. I love being here with you , and just, everyone. He smiles. Oli calls Austin and asks where we are. He tells him an he says Well, we better get going. Buses take off soon. As we approach the buses, Oli is outside ours an sees Austin with his arm around me. He looks extremely annoyed by it. Austin smiles and tell us both goodnight. He goes to his bus and Oli grabs my hand and starts to walk up the stairs but he stops and smiles at me. I ask him why he's smiling and he replied with Well, first your gorgeous. And second, out buds from Motionless In White came to visit. he pulls me up the stairs because I'm completely frozen. Right as we walk up the stairs, I hear a familiar voice say Who's MIW bag? We just put those out, thats fuckin awesome. i know that voice. Chris fucking Cerulli. I squeeze Oli's hand tight as he says It's Trysten's. I look around and I can feel my face heat up knowing my cheeks are bright red. Chris smiles at me. Hey, I'm Chris I smile. I know, I-I'm Trysten..Oli sits down and I sit next to him on my right and Chris on my left. I feel Chris staring at me out of the corner of his eye. I think to myself, 'What the hell? Why are all the guys doing this? I'm nothing special.' Then I realize, my arms exposed a little bit. My face turns a little red. I pull my sleeves over to arms and almost to where you can't see my hands. I look down and avoid eye contact. My phone vibrates and I get it out to check it.

'Mum'

Hey you dumb twat. just wanted to remind you I fucking hate your guts. Hope your day is shit. Not like I care.

I try not to look like a complete idiot infront of my idols and my possible boyfriend, but I let a few tears fall as I re-read the message about 3 times. Oli and Chris and I think Mat noticed, and Oli took my phone and read it. He put his arm around me and calmed me down so I didn't cry, even though everyone already knew. The guys decided to go out and I told Oli he could go if he wanted. I just needed relief. I waited 5 minutes after they were gone and went and got my razor our of my bag.

*TRIGGER WARNING**

I didn't even go into the bunk, I just sat on the couch and re-read the message. I cried for a minute then as the blade entered my skin I was calm. As I let the new wound bleed Chris had come back because he left his misfits jacket on the counter. He walked in and said Sorry, I or got my jacket I'll be go- he saw my arm and I quickly pulled my sleeve down. Chris- I- please don't tell Oli - I.... He just looked at me and his expression changed. I couldn't really read it well. He was hard to read. He came over to me and asked me to follow him. So I stood up a holding my sleeves, and stared at the ground. He led me to the bathroom and picked me up and set me down on the counter without hesitation. It all surprised me really. I still had my phone in my hand. He looked at me for what felt like hours then finally spoke up. What made you do this. I looked down. He sighs. I said, What made you do this. I unlock my phone and hand it to him. I can't say a word. I feel a familiar heat behind my eyes as tears start to whelp up in my eyes. I try my hardest not to cry.

He hugs me. Tightly. I cry. Why me. Why?! I cry.