I'm the mayor? What the fuck is life now?!

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"THIS IS YOUR TPC CARD IT HAS INFORMATION THAT WE MAGICALLY KNOW FROM THE PENIS CAT ROVER, HE HAS BEEN STALKING YOUR FACEBOOK AND TWITTER ACCOUNTS." Isabelle screeched like the dead dog she is.  

(Well fuck ain't this great why am I here again?) "Well what do I do as mayor here?"I asked not caring at all ;-; 

The dead yellow dog giggled like a maniac and yelled "YOU GET TO GO OUTSIDE AND WORK BY SHAKING TREES LIKE YOU SHAKE DAT ASS FOR FRUIT AND SELLING DEM FOR BELLS"

(But I thought I was the mayor wtf... why do I have to live liek the peasant  animals in this town???!) 

I walked outside and see the neighbors smiling at me (wow aren't I special) I stomp over to a peach tree (legit look at them tress in game, they LOOKING LIKE A DIRTY ASS NIKKI MINAJ BUTTCHEECK ps-yo I don't have nothing against Nikki but I'm just saying for laughs) 

I stare at the peaches on the tre and hold onto the big fat  thick juicy oak trunk ;) (lmao did I make you uncomfortable) and start shaking dat tree like it was someone I hated *cough* *cough* not saying names but *cough* *cough* Isabelle *cough* *cough* *fucking bitchy bell head ass dog... *clears throat* anyway

********************(PLAY MUSIC VIDEO NOW FOR BEST EXPERIENCE)*************************

As I start shaking I here EDM music pumping from inside the tree and I wanna go inside and grind on some tree animals (Did I make e u uncomfortable again ;) sorry IM IN A MOOD RN FROM WATCHING JUNGO ROMANTICA.... SSSSHHHH IM NOT PROMOTING BUT SRSLY GO WATCHING IT ;) it's yaoi XD) so cause I wanted to do this I started shaking harder and harder and harder until I hear a buzzing noise coming from inside....oooohhh shit I started running away as a beehive dropped and I went all around town but could not find shelter so I had to face the bees and *gulp* GET STUNGGG (DISGUSTANNNG!!) 

I got stung in the eyeball (cause fuck logic, this is animal crossing..... ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN)

Oh look I have no eyeball now and weird ass dots on a flappy bit of ballsack skin around my eye 

**************************STOP MUSIC NOW!! (Unless u wanna keep listening, I'm chill)*********

So I went to my friendly neighbourhood hampster who appeared to look innocent but had a very...manly voice " OH JEEZ WHO STUCK THEIR WAXED BALLSACK ON YOUR FACE HERE HAVE SOME MEDICINE IN A STRANGE BLUE AND WHITE BAG, IT WILL FIX YA UP IN NO TIME" said the manly hamster *-*

(Gee thanks 0-0 probably drugs but I need the good Cush rn ;-; I take the strange medicine out of my pocket and drink it right up, I proceeed to do a magical backflip followed by anime sparkles >u<  And WHAM!! My waxed ballsack over my eye was gone, WOW

So...what an interesting day, I never did shake fruit trees for the next few weeks and decided to just steal some money from the town bank cause I knocked Pelly and Phyllis out with my baseball bat so yeah after that I decided to sleep for a good few months cause I did not feel like um.....living in this SHIT HOLE DIRTY ASS TOWN.....but anyway imma go and watch some more yaoi cause I LIKE USAGI AND I DONT CARE IF HE IS GAY CAUSE HE HAS MANY FANGIRLS YES fanGIRLS including me  so bye....


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