❂ ล†я๏¢เ†ý • ᵗʰᵉ 4ᵗʰ ❂

|| f o u r t y t w o ||

I don't delete my PM's, I don't know why, I guess I just never get around to it. When I look back at the ones I had months ago, it's a bit sad. Most of these accounts went dormant, and they just happened to PM me just before that. It's sad, like they've died.

But then again I don't normally feel much when people die.

•••

How does a person – imagine? How do I visualize? When I imagine things, it's vivid, but only for a moment, and then I don't see anything. But then, sometimes I see things, but there's a big, black expanse, because my eyes are closed, but it's there. I can almost feel its presence rather than see it. It's weird, I know, but is it how other people imagine, too?

•••

The cold air hit my face, and there were lights. Everywhere, because this was a building – at night. There were people inside, having fun... talking, enjoying themselves. I was outside, alone, because there were people in there. People scare me. It's gotten so bad I cry every single time I'm around a lot of them.

I don't want to be afraid of them, but I am. It's almost like they aren't human.

If anyone should be feeling that way, it's me.

•••

Opinions are hard to explain for some reason. Especially when I'm writing. Like, I'm told to write why I think a certain way, and I just CAN'T. I can't explain myself, I don't know how. They never taught me. They taught me how to structure my writing, not how to get it out there! They have such high expectations for something we haven't even been able to do. How disappointing.

•••

(( I don't know what this is, I just wanted to write. ))