The Conjurer's Prayer

"By day, by night. At this altar I sit. My hands clasped together, this ritual, filled with prayers."

These were the words I never thought would leave my lips. But given the situation, what else could I do? My god did not teach what one does when loved ones pass on. So here I was, sitting in the Cathedral of the Auculora praying to Mana, the only goddess I knew who actually had something to say about death. To be honest, it was the only place where I knew that I could truly find some solace to grieve. Anytime I would try to do this in my home, the memories of the boy who I had once called friend would flash through my mind.

"By day, by night. At this altar I sit. My hands clasped together, this ritual, filled with prayers."

All those days when we would sit by the River Lazuline, watching the clouds roll by one by one in the beautiful sky. Now that very same sky tormented my soul as I remembered his deep emerald eyes smiling at me. Oh, where had those days of blissful glee gone? What had happened that had changed him, turned him into the monster I saw on the mountain? I did not know, but truly wished the knowledge was within me. Tears filled my eyes as I remembered the face of my apprentice's murderer, the boy I had once called the greatest of friends. He looked as if he had been possessed by a demon of sorts, but I knew him to be a religious Cleric of the faith, so such could not be the case. Or could it?

Then there was the Dranguis boy who I had sworn to protect, the Chosen One of the Order who was said to save us all. With his one golden eye he could see what was to come in visions...he tried to warn me. He would always tell me that spending my time with the Cleric would lead to my own destruction. I disregarded his words time and time again, but when I finally decided to listen to him, it was too late. I was such a fool, this I know now...now that there is nothing I can do.

"By day, by night. At this altar I sit. My hands clasped together, this ritual, filled with prayers."

The sky outside the stained-glass windows grew darker, casting its shadows on me as I sat, my head bowed lower than it had ever been in my entire life. The tears began to fall one by one onto the stone tiles beneath me. I felt my body begin to shake as I held back the cries who's felt his purpose is gone. Even though I knew my mission was to protect the Chosen One, something else kept telling me that I needed to protect someone else...that I needed to protect my friend. The Cleric that I had come to know so well, the boy who could see into the future...which one would it have been more important to save? Due to my own indecisiveness, I lost them both on that mountain. If only there was something I could have done to save them. Perhaps I should have heeded the Dranguis's words the first time.

"By day, by night. At this altar I sit..."

I stopped short, my breaths becoming heavier as my hands begin to shake uncontrollably. Why? Why them? Was it selfish of me to wish that it was someone else on that mountain that day? Someone else that wasn't nearly so close to me? I could hear the sound of the Clerics making their rounds through the Cathedral, the funeral dirge they sang haunting my dreams, as well as my waking life.

I could feel my entire body begin to quiver more violently as I asked in a hushed whisper, "Why? Why did you let this happen Mana?"

There was nothing but the sound of Mana's silence surrounding me. The tears now came unrelentlessly as rage began to flow through my veins as I cast them upon the statue of Mana. I felt that her angelic wings were taunting me as I heard not a single word from her, but instead only felt anger as I looked upon the Rosen Dagger that played the role as the symbol of her followers. I unclasped my hands and stood up, my eyes burning more by the minute.