If You Only Knew Me

Take My Hand

It was so strange. Mom always got so upset in the week leading up to Lantern Day.

This didn't make any sense to Varian, since Mom liked all kinds of other pretty things like paintings, flowers, and books, so why wouldn't she like the lanterns? They were by far some of the prettiest things in the whole entire kingdom, and yet every year Mom got really sad and barely looked at them.

Even Dad wasn't the same around this time. He became more, well, Dad. Dad retreated into himself even more than usual, Varian never saw him on the week before Lantern Day. He was more like to see Mom around this time, but even then, it was sparse at best. Arianna set up shop in her room and didn't come outside of it unless she was absolutely needed, which normally meant trips to Dad's study where he always was.

What puzzled him most of all was that they didn't want to talk about it. Dad would always gruffly respond that he wasn't old enough to understand and Mom would get too sad, so Varian didn't ask all that much anymore. The last thing he wanted was for Dad or Mom – especially Mom – to be upset.

And as Varian stared up at the door of his parent's room, he was certain that his mom was just on the other side and that she was very, very upset. The four-year-old wanted to help her, but he knew the door would be locked as it always was when Arianna was really sad.

Varian frowned at the door handle as he thought over how to make her feel better. She always went out of her way to make him feel better, so the least he could do was the same for her. The only problem was he couldn't figure out how to go about making Mom feel better.

He had thought about making Mom her favorite food, before remembering he wasn't allowed to cook (he was only four after all) and he had no idea where the kitchen was in the first place – because come on, the castle was huge, and he could hardly remember where his own room was half the time. He could go get Dad and ask him to talk to Mom, because he was the only one allowed in their room when she was like this, but he knew Dad hated being interrupted around this time.

His mind cut to what Mom did when he was upset. She would sit with him and talk to him about what made him feel so bad – but that option was clearly out given that she was currently out-of-commission. She would walk with him and make him laugh, which once again was cut away by their circumstances. He furrowed his brow as he really thought over what he could do, before he remembered something he could do.

He smiled wisely and rushed down the hallway, weaving through the halls and palace staff as he made his way towards the palace library. After one or two detours (once again, he was only four), he finally made his way into the large room lined with shelves.

It was personally his favorite room in the entire castle. It smelled old, but not in an off-putting way. It was that comforting way that dared you to draw closer and learn the secrets the room held. Not to mention the fact that there were so many books in the space that Varian doubted that anyone would be able to read them all to completion. Even though he had just gained the ability to read, he enjoyed flying through the books on the shelves as fast he could. Especially the ones about science and the few that lingered on the idea of alchemy.

But that was beside the point right now.

He strode past the non-fiction shelves and towards the fiction section, the ones lined with tales of superhuman strength and magical endeavors. They were Mom's favorites, she was always gently directing him towards the myths and fairytales she adored, before relenting and letting him read the scientific studies and inquiries he enjoyed. She had, however, drawn the line when he asked to read Sir Isaac Newton's Mathematica Principia, quickly saying it was a little above the head of a little boy – even if he was a smart four-year-old.