15/10/18
I try to be nice, but all I get is hate and pity. My friends? Sure they can be kind but there are times when we don't get along, I mean most groups do fall out but when it's my group it's a full out war. Words are our weapons and they bleed the happiness and hope out of us that thinks that we can still be friends. Kindness is what I use as my weapon, but most of the time it is useless until the final strike and then we are friends again. It is a endless cycle that never stops, but this time I think I've finished it. I picked up a weapon that was not kindness and shot a friend with it. I do not regret it because she used her weapon on me first but I do think that I went to far. I kept shooting and I didn't stop until her body was on the floor. I think I've lost a friend because I couldn't stop myself from bringing out a weapon I have never used before. My group probably hates me and I won't be able to sit with them again. It's for the best I guess, because I'm sure they are better of without me. I'm just a no one and I know that I will be thinking differently tomorrow, but my heart will always know the truth even when I denied it. It's hard to stay nice when all you want to do is get revenge on the people that hurt you, but I'll keep trying because I know that someday they will need my help and I'll be able to help them. I know this it is weird to say that I would help them but at least then I would get at least a "thank you" for helping them and I will be appreciated by them for at least a minute before I'm useless again. So yeah I have friends but I don't know if I am classified as a friend in there books. I'll just keep myself occupied with keeping my weapon of kindness clean and never use the other weapon again because I know what it leads to. I don't understand how people can use their weapons and not be completely taken out the group like I have, I just hope that if I keep using kindness they will let me back. I don't want to be a outsider but if I'm out the group forever, then so be it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If anyone is reading this, Sorry for bad punctuation and not being able to spell.
If my group finds this then I'm sorry for the things I've done, I didn't mean to hurt you guys.
YOU ARE READING
Rant book
RandomThis is my book of teenage angst, and me being angry. I would not recommend reading this because it will just be me trying to cope with my life, even though it seems as though I am perfectly fine.
