4/04/19
Today I took off my glasses, my friend said
"wow you look so tired and depressed without your glasses"
That might be because I am tired, I am tired of what is happening to me, I'm tired of tying.
Today my other friend said
"Your glasses are so dirty, why don't you clean them?"
I don't clean them because I don't want to see. To see what I have become, to see my true self.
I use my glasses to hide. It obviously worked since they didn't notice the bags under my eyes, that I get from not being able to sleep since their voices are in my head telling me I'm not good enough. They didn't notice that I don't really smile or speak as much anymore, I've started to stop speaking because I get told that I'm to loud. I can't help that because it's the only way I can get their attention, they are basically saying that they don't want me to talk. They know this because I have tried to talk to them multiple times in my normal voice, and each time the ignore me.
So yeah I use my glasses to hide, but it's a good thing because otherwise everyone would ignore me. Saying that I just do it for attention, that I am a weird person for showing my emotions in this way. So I keep wearing my glasses and pretend to be okay, because if I act okay maybe I will one day get myself to think that I am.
YOU ARE READING
Rant book
RandomThis is my book of teenage angst, and me being angry. I would not recommend reading this because it will just be me trying to cope with my life, even though it seems as though I am perfectly fine.
