.he smiled. (itachi love short story)

.little brother.

By the next month, Itachi got notably worse, Natalie had started having to help me care for him as well.
It wasn't a good situation for either of us.
Itachi didn't like it.
I would wake up in the middle of the night sometimes- on the days I actually slept- and I would go touch his wrists.
"I'm still alive." He'd say, not playful enough for me to not feel bad about it.
I'd scoot closer and fight the tears that always beat me.
His hand would go to my hair, like if he was comforting me but it only made it worse.
The circumstances made it worse, I wanted him to caress me because he liked me- because he loved me- not because he was dying.
Some days were better than others, though.
In the good days I could get him to get up and sit on the living room chairs and I'd make him tea and play shogi with him.
I wasn't very good at it.
Other days, Kisame would come by and Itachi would act like if he was all fine but I could catch a type of look in the shark's eye.
He knew Itachi was pretending, it wasn't hard to tell, he looked like he was sick.
He could pretend all he wanted but he still looked more dull.
"Sit here, sweetheart." Kisame would call to me and as me a weird question of 'would you rather'.
I'd lean over and rest my head in my hands, pressing my leg to Itachi's.
I wasn't sure what it was but there was something going on between us, something we didn't address and kind of hid in front of Natalie and Kisame.
It made me feel more infantile, like if it was a secret. I think that's what he liked about it, feeling like a child.
Not that he needed any more secrets in his conscious.
It was not a complete secret though, of course, Nat obviously noticed that I didn't sleep in our room anymore, not that any shenanigans happened in Itachi's.
Sometimes he'd have me hug him and he'd play with my hair when the cold sweat came back.
When he didn't feel too sick, we'd sit and talked. When he was sick but not cold, after giving him his medicine, I'd lay down next to him and we'd play with each other's hands.
I found the whole Shinobi abilities so impressive and fascinating, sometimes I'd ask him to show me stuff but I only got one request per day because it wasn't wise to make him waste chakra for my entertainment.

I handled the kunai he had handed to me, my hands felt weird to hold it. It felt almost like it belonged there, or maybe I just liked the way it looked in my hands.
He stared at my face as I looked at the knife.
My index finger went to touch the sharp point.
"Don't hurt yourself." He grimaced.
I shook my head, "its ok."
He let out a sigh and I gave it back, noticing he was getting tense.
"I want you to tell me why." I said to him.
He looked away, like if he got himself distracted I'd forget. I waited until I got impatient.
"Itachi."
His eyes moved to mine again, "not yet."
"Can you tell me who it was? The one that survived?" I asked.
His head turned to me, "I always say too much to you."
I nodded, "that's okay. You have to say it to someone, you trust me. I know that, you do too."
He gave me a smile, "my little brother."
My body got filled with goosebumps, I shook as a shiver ran down me.
He chuckled, "that was fast."
I didn't actually expect him to tell me, I was caught by surprise.
"Whats his name?" I asked, a little too eager but I was happy he was talking to me.
"Sasuke." He whispered the name but he said it in a way I had never heard before.
Itachi spoke his name like he was announcing him, like Sasuke was going to appear and take a bow.
He said it like if he was proud of the mere idea of him.
I looked down at my hands and reached for his, playing with his fingers. "Do you miss him?"
He spread his fingers to meet our fingers together, he liked to see how my hand fit inside his.
I gave him a smile, "you're real cocky, you know."
He chuckled and dropped his hand back to my lap.
We were silent for a little and I let him take his time to answer, perhaps he thought I'd forgotten I asked.
He had to know better than that by now though, "so, do you?"
"Yes." He frowned, "he was a fun kid, its been a long time, though. I'm sure he doesn't like the same things he used to."
I nodded, "does he know what you did? About your clan?"
He made a face, like if he was trying to say, 'oh, you have no idea how much he does know I did that'. I gave him and half smile, trying to hold his hand a little tighter now.
"And? Is he okay?"
He moved his hand from my hold, a sudden wall in between us. I'd ask too much, this was key to who Itachi was. Whenever he remembered too vividly what he'd done, and what he was currently doing to his brother, he felt disgusted with himself.
I sighed, "I'm sorry."
He didn't say anything.
"I'm going for water, do you want me to bring you some?"
He cleared his throat. "Please."
I nodded and walked out the room.
I was always so curious, so nosey, when it came to Itachi. I knew where I should've stopped and I still didn't do it, I'd pushed it.
I walked to the kitchen and turned on the light, going for the cupboard.
My hand took a glass but I felt a chilling feeling when I was about to close the door.
Like if I had seen enough horror films.
I screwed my eyes shut, not wanting to scream out to Itachi for it to just be my paranoia, or even worse, Natalie.
I wrapped my hand hard around the glass and closed the cabinet door.
A scream erupted from my throat.
My hand threw the glass in it at the creature before me.
Itachi appeared with the speed I wasn't used to yet but when I saw I him going towards me, I hadn't realized it was him.
I threw another glass at him, which he caught.
Itachi's eyes were furious as he grabbed what I could only guess was supposed to be Zetsu.
He said something to him in a low voice I couldn't hear, I was too shaken by the situation still.
"Be careful, she might get unlucky someday." The black half of the plant sneered, his wide eye staring right at me.
He went through the building, Itachi turned to me, "Stella."
My hands were still shaking.
"I'm sorry." I stuttered, going to pick up the glass on the floor.
"Stella, no." He was upset.
I looked up at him and frowned, not sure what he was upset about.
Could it be what Zetsu had said?
He went to walk away but I grabbed his sleeve, my arms wrapping around him.
"I was afraid."
He laid his hands on my hair, I breathed in.
"Come on." He said and walked ahead.
I hesitated, wanting to clean up the glass.
"Stella." Itachi said sternly.
I turned to him, my forehead met with his fingers, poking at it.
Another small shiver went down my body.
"Leave it." He nodded and grabbed my hand.