Then I Met Her

Then I Met Her: 8

The next week is a blur and before I know it I've adjusted to this new normal. I just have to do what I do best, hide. Don't make an impression, go unnoticed. I don't bother you, you don't bother me. It's simple, easy, it's what I've always done. Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I were non a Davis kid. Who would I be? What would I do? The shackles that are my family's reputation would be cast away. I would be free to be myself. I get up from my desk in the classroom and give in my paper. It's not worth thinking about the impossible.

I sit back down at my desk and wait for class to be over. The GED course that I have to take is basic at best. I always finish early, having to find ways to pass the time. Lately, I've been talking to the girl who sits beside me. Her name is Paige and she's on three counts of theft. Sometimes we talk about our lives before juvie. She was a high-level gymnast in her old life. I listen to her tell stories of competitions and medals, only half-listening. My mind is in other places.

"And she pushed her into the pool!" Paige says, "it was so funny you should have seen her face!"

"Hmm," I reply, feigning interest. She's about to say something else when the bell rings and our class is over. We make our way to the canteen for lunch. I get my food and sit down at a table. I haven't been talking to Luxe since our last encounter so I chose a random table. I'm so engrossed in my daydreams and speculation that I do not register where I've just sat down. I'm sitting at the last bench at the back.

Across from Taylor.

The canteen goes silent, except for the sound of spoons scraping against styrofoam. No one is looking at us but I can tell that everybody is watching. Shit, what do I do? Without thinking I stutter out, "can I sit here?"

Taylor looks up, surprised as if she's just noticed my presence. "Feel free," she says cooley with the hint of an accent I can't place. Is it southern? I look down at my plate, my face burning. What is it about this girl? I can feel eyes boring into my back as I eat. Who is Taylor and what is her deal?

Back in the common area, I sit haphazardly in a chair. I'm so done. I'm done trying to be perfect, silent, unimpressive. Here I can start over. No rumors or reputation. I could finally be myself. But that begs the question who am I? Have I stayed hidden for so long that I have lost who I am?

                                                                                           ...

After lunch, we have physical education. Here the girls break into two groups. Some sit on the sidelines and do each other's hair and the rest throw around a basketball lamely. I'm drawn into the latter group. I pass a ball back and forth with Luxe and try to strike up a conversation with her.

"Do you know what happened with Natasha and that other girl?" I asked, shooting the ball at the net. I miss.

"Looks like she got her bad side, I guess" Luxe responds, passing the ball. I know enough by now to not question it.

Luxe looks around the room before speaking again. "You know that some of the other girls are whispering avout you, right new girl?" I've been here for a few weeks but will always be "new girl."

"Why," I ask, already knowing the answer.

"You know why girly, You got your eye on that girl," she responds.

"And why does that concern you?" I reply tersely. She seems taken aback by my sudden harshness and then her face breaks into a grin and she starts laughing.

"You know your shit new girl, guess I should start calling you something else now."

I smile back glad that I have not angered her, "new girls fine" I reply. I'm not trusting my luck with any other nickname.

We spend the rest of physical education chatting back and forth. It's nice and I feel almost happy. It's the closest I've ever been to feeling in months.

I go to bed that night feeling different, calm for a change. Hopeful. Maybe the future does hold something for me. If only I knew what was in store for us in the morning.

                                                                                   ...

The shrill morning bell rings and I get up. I walk out of my cell expecting the many sounds of rowdy girls on their way to breakfast. But instead nothing. No screaming, no chatting, no yelling. It's silent as every girl stands frozen outside her cell. I look around, even Taylor who is practically a hermit, stands outside of her cell to stare at the ratty-haired girl being led into the block. Natasha is back.

I slip back into my cell and put on my running shoes. I'm not taking any chances this time.

Breakfast is a tense affair. Natasha and her "friends" sit at their usual table talking smack and gossiping. The girl who got jumped, whose name I find out is Jenna, sits at the opposite table, silent. No one is eating. All eyes are on Jenna and her friends. Like me most of the other girls have "laced up," preparing for whatever is going to go down.

Like the previous event, it happens in a flash. Taylor, who no one had paid any mind to, jumps up from her seat at the back. She deftly dodges the other girls and guards and is on Natasha in a second. Her eyes usually dull, shine with anger as she lands blow after blow until there is a sickening crunch and Natasha screams out in pain. Not even her so-called friends are willing to help her. The guards who were stalled by Jenna finally make their way over to Taylor and pull her off the girl. The canteen is silent as Taylor is shackled. As she is led away she says in her drawl, "and let that be a lesson to you miss girl."

The whole canteen looks over at Natasha who lies on the floor crying alone. Nobody goes to help her. Taylor's point is made clear. Natasha only had power through fear. She bullied and pushed the other girl into submission to gain control. Jenna had respect.

If you hurt people in your journey to get to the top, they won't be there for you when you fall.