Portal/Borderlands: When Claptrap Met GLaDOS

When Claptrap Met GLaDOS

Portal/Borderlands: When Claptrap Met GLaDOS

Characters: Claptrap, GLaDOS [ClapDOS]

Setting: During the first Portal 2 DLC/after Borderlands 2 (pre Love as a Construct for most of it)

Synopsis: If he'd known what he'd be getting into... he would've done it all over again.

Note: I know my fics are usually soundly under the banner of a PG or even a K rating, but please keep in mind Claptrap is from an M-rated game. I did my best to keep him from getting too gross.

She'd given him a map.

The whole thing was nuts, really. He'd accepted an invitation for some weird-ass interdimensional poker game just so he'd have something to do for a few hours and, when he got there, stuff was pretty standard. Steroid freak, guy covered in blood, a dog and a rabbit, some shadowy thing. Also, Moxxi was there. No matter where you went, Moxxi was always there to sling you an overpriced cocktail or two. Well, not him. She didn't serve him anymore. But all of that was pretty standard stuff. The really nutso thing about it all was the dealer.

The dealer was a robot. A female robot. A sexy female robot.

And what a sexy female robot she was! One eye set off-centre on her head, half-open case, and super hot. She seemed to be a fixed model, permanently attached to the ceiling and with limited range of movement, but hey. That was about the only thing not in her favour. And really, he could work with that. Her chassis was definitely custom, nothing mass produced, and it looked like it had been through something or another but that didn't take away from its hotness at all. Even if it had, she had a voice on her that more than made up for it. She was doing her best to be all emotionless and impartial, but c'mon. You couldn't pull a fast one on a fellow AI! She had emotional software. She just didn't want to use it in front of a bunch of strangers, which was more than fair. Humans got freaked out when robots got all emotional and stuff. He could definitely think of something to do with her.

If she gave him a shot, that was. It had been... well, a while since Claptrap had managed that. But while she was dealing out the first hand he had a minute to mull it over, and if there'd ever been a time where he had nothing to lose it was right now. She didn't know zip about him! All he had to do was make his move before she had time to decide he was annoying, and since that could be literally at any moment he'd have to do it soon. Which he did. And he didn't really get an answer. Which was fine. A little disappointing, but oh well. He'd tried. He'd go back home and be a little sad about it for a while and... maybe some other things, but that was it.

Except... it hadn't been. Right when he'd been about to leave she'd given him a piece of paper – paper! Who used that anymore, right? Especially for maps – and told him to be in a certain place at a certain time the next day if he wanted to know what he'd find after he followed the directions.

Well. That sure sounded like an offer. And one he couldn't refuse!

So here he was. With the map. In some kinda... well, he had no idea. It was dark. Very grey. He looked down at the sheet of paper in his hand. Wherever she was, it was pretty far from where he'd been reconstituted. Was this some kinda test? Why else would she zap him so far away from... he zoomed in on his destination. It was some kinda circular room separated from everything else by a rectangular block. Probably a bridge, but he'd find out when he got there.