Craig of the Dead

18. Whoa, Don't Make Craig Mad

"Sir, we've spotted some boys and one girl heading this way." The boy reported. I didn't even know his name, what was it? Francis? Honestly I didn't care either way.

"Did you identify them?" I asked, straightening my sunglasses. I sat atop the desk-turned-throne, looking down on this kid, who was reading off a notepad.

"Yes, we were able to identify them. It was some of your friends, like Stan and Kyle and--"

"Hey! What did you say?" I glared at him from my seat. This was my kingdom, my rules.

"Oh, sorry! I mean, Stan and the Roach," He stammered, bowing his head.

"That's better. We need to call them what they are. And Jews are roaches in my books." I grinned, feeling drunk with power. I had this whole place under my finger, simply because everyone else was too afraid to step up to take charge. They had practically paved the way for me to rise to the throne. Now, I was unstoppable.

"Craig, Token, and Butters was also with the group. Karen McCormick was also accompanying them."

"Well, let's greet our guests." I heaved myself up from my chair and followed the boy outside. We walked through winding hallways, each scattered with kids meandering about aimlessly. Some were crying, others were just chatting, some were even playing games with their friends. It made me laugh.

As we approached the door I fished the keys from my pocket. It was my everything, all of my power resided in that key ring. It had the keys to every entrance, and exit, into the school. People had to listen and follow my orders or else the doors would open and the zombies would pour in. I of course could fight them off with just my fists, but everyone else cowered at the thought of zombies attacking the school.

Just as I turned the key I heard their voices coming from outside, their laughter a stark contrast to the sounds I had been hearing for a while. I mean, I've heard my own laughter, but not other people's.

"Give me back my fucking hat!"

"No, Kyle's self conscious, haha! Aren't you buddy?"

"No! Shut up you douche!" Kyle laughed. "Here, have the stupid hat!"

"Ahh, so nice to see you all." I announced as I flung open the doors, grinning at the startled group.

"Wha...wha... CARTMAN?" The Jew laughed again, this time a noise of sheer disbelief. "Oh no. Oh no, no, no." He faced Craig, who was slapping a red baseball hat on his head. "We did not come all this way, Clyde did not go through all that, to see this fucking fatass."

"Hmm, not letting you in. No filthy Jews allowed."

"Good, I don't want to come in! I'd rather go join Clyde then--"

"Kyle!" Butters interjected, scowling at Kyle. Wow, I don't think I had ever seen Butters make that face before.

"What? What happened to Clyde?" I asked.

"He was bit...." Butters turned his attention to me, sending waves of hate. Damn, that was going to have to change. Who was I gonna screw with when I was bored? I guess I still had Bathroom Boy to mess with whenever I wanted a laugh.

"Bit by who? Kenny? Or did the idiot try to make out with a zombie cuz it was the only thing that would kiss him?" I cracked up at my own joke and elbowed Francis, who began to join in nervously.

"I hate you. So much." Kyle folded his arms, taking a few steps back from the door. "Nope, I'm not going in."

"Kyle, I don't want you to get hurt." Stan said.