Fine.(Lams story)

A new Feeling

.John.

I was curious if this new nurse but he seemed nice,so far
They always do that,try being friendly and nice before they get annoyed finally and snap
I wish there was just one that wasn't like that..
He asked me My name.
This Alex person was my new helper,he looked up to me after he asked,shouldn't he know my name?he has the clipboard
Every time I talk or am touched,There's a weird feeling in my lungs that are filled,making me scared
"John.."I end up saying in a whisper,it's the best tone I can do right now,playing with a part of my pants
He nods and sets the clipboard down onto the floor,the sign showing he just wants to talk.
"I'm Alexander but you can call me Alex,My friends call me that,heh"he seemed nervous talking to me too,but like as if he didn't want to talk to anyone .
Wait he called me his friend???!!
I look up quickly,surprised"f-friend..?"I say a bit louder
He thinks for a moment then smiles at me"Yes,my friend"he looked to the door to the room before reaching into his back pocket.
I flinch and look away,expecting a punch or something bad
"Here"he's offering me something,I slowly shake and turn to see-it was a pastry
I look at it before looking up to him,he was serious
I reach and take it quickly,my eyes probably like stars right now but I can't help it
This looked good,I look to him to try and say something -
"Yes I know I can get in trouble but I think you'd like it"he smiles softly,it was such a nice smile
I lean and take a bite of it slowly,it was chocolate on the inside and round,I dunno what it is but I like it
Maybe a cupcake?I dunno but I like it
I shove it in my mouth quickly,turning my head so he's not looking
He lets out a chuckle.
I look over to see t wasn't one to make fun of me but one to laugh with me
He stands up and takes out a napkin,handing it to me
I take it gently and wipe my mouth
He says"would it be okay if I help you in the bath?"he asked softly,I look up
I honestly refuse those since I don't like those people who try to help
"I swear I won't touch you or look,I trust you to clean yourself "he says
I slowly stand up near him,leading he to a side door in my room to the bathroom ,I usually never touch it since I don't like closed doors .
He leads me in and starts turning on the tub for me to get it ready
I watch silently ,looking and studying this man to myself
He's slim,his hair is dirty,he looks tired and has a small peach fuzz like beard on his chin ,kinda pale but still looks healthy
He gestures for me to go in the tub
I go to touch my shirt but I look at him
He nods and moves to the entrance of the door and turns so his back is to me
I slowly start to undress,then quickly get into the tub,it's warm
I look up to see if he's staring and he isn't,he seems so different
I like that.

After a while I'm happy that I'm the one washing myself,even though I have to look at my marks and scars from others and myself

Soon he does walk in but his eyes are closed and he's just holding a set of clothes for me
I stand up and dry off in a towel,waving my hand over his eyes to see if he's staring at me and he isn't.
I take the clothes and dress quickly
After a minute he opens his eyes"Hey..look at you"he says softly
I look down but he actually was touching me..
His hand was on my cheek..
I tense up but once he sees that he steps back,setting his hands up
"I'm sorry,sorry just I wanted to see your face,your hair gets in the way"he says
I look to him then the counter,taking a black hair tie and look to him
Taking all my soft and super curly hair into a ponytail,a low one .
He smiles"see,you look great"he says softly
Leading me back to my bed to let me sit on
"I'll be back with food for you"he says ,going to the door
I look at him and say"thank you.."

He stopped and looked to me,smiling
"No problem"