Absolution

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Humans have a strange word. It is not one that exists in our language, for it is not a concept that we have. We call it 'sol-lu', the closest we can get to the sound, and to us it means 'useless'.

It is a word without purpose, a word for regret and begging forgiveness. An insane word. A cowardly word.

Humans are sometimes cowardly. The sight of me, of course, that brings fear. They do not understand, though it is simple. There is no point in fearing us. What must happen must happen, and our appearance must be accepted, willingly or not.

Many things humans speak of are spoken by us as well, but they twist meanings. Regret. It is simple, the understanding of unwise decisions, a fate that comes inevitably. Yet when humans speak of it, they speak of sadness, a sadness they consider separate to their own suffering. But the humans consider many things separate. Like forgiveness and regret, where they do not -or perhaps refuse to- see how one causes the other.

In truth, humans rarely regret.

They speak in contradictions and absurdities. The word they use for my kind is also a sol-lu word. An accidental catastrophe, as if there could be such a thing. And they do not understand that no matter what they do, regardless of if they try to drive us away or take us as a warning or kill us all, they cannot avoid their fate.

Yet how they try, cowardly, unwilling. There are no unwilling absol. Like their own word for us, we can only speak of it by pairing two contradicting words together. Not willing. They shy away, duck their heads, magnify their sins.

It is lucky for humans that they do not need to accept their forgiveness. No, their forgiveness shall come to them, padding inexorably down unseen paths.

The humans, they are obsessed with forgiveness, perhaps because their very word does not understand what it is, so they can never find it. Asking for forgiveness. Asking for forgiveness. No matter how much I repeat it, the phrase remains incomprehensible. There is no point in asking. And there is no reason, no reason at all, for them to ever say sol-lu. Yet they do, for their cowardly forgiveness. A contradiction. Forgiveness can never be cowardly.

They are obsessed with forgiveness, perhaps because they are unable to face it.

The humans do not understand. Speaking of regret does not undo anything, how could it? Speaking of regret does not create forgiveness. Speaking words cannot even undo the sins of words. Saying sol-lu does nothing, causes nothing, undoes nothing. Speaking of regret requires no suffering, does not balance. And regret can never come before forgiveness.

No, regret can only be gained after forgiveness. Tears and cries and blood.

And here now, here is your forgiveness.

Your absolution.

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