Letters to you

Dear x,

I know I can get annoying especially when I do shit like this but I'm not trying to pressure you or anything. I just don't think you grasp just how I feel for you and I'm just trying to explain it. I did a lot tonight and got pretty close to darkness but I saw you. I know you care, I know you do but you've been gone quite a while and its not your fault, I know its mine, but I learned to deal with things this way. I know it's a shit way but you're not here and I know that's not your fault either but it sucks. You try your best and I appreciate that. I do. And I would never ever try and break you. I wanna make you soooooo happy. I would do anything. Maybe one day babe. I still remember the world we made. I go there at times like these. I made myself promise to share these when I'm sober so yeah. I hope you'll see me. I hope you know how much I'm dying inside. I'm sorry if I mess up too much one night. I hope you know you do help me and you do enough. I'll see you tomorrow.
-read this when im lost