homerun. // ijb + ksg.

chapter eight.

the sky was dark. how anticlimactic was that. a night canvas peppered with silvery swirls of stars he really couldn't see in the pollution of seoul. his building was too low, too near the ground and so far away from the heavens. even when he stretched an arm, he couldn't see past the tips of his fingers.

but he could feel how cold they were. noticed how they trembled when arctic winds howled. realized how empty they were. jaebum clenched, grabbed onto the nothingness of air before he reached for his phone beside him.

seulgi looked pretty dancing with jimin in a red dress.

he turned to his side, pressed a hand to his gut as if that could pacify the uneasiness. nothing really worked. the pain remained, ebbing back and forth.

back and forth.

as if he really stood a chance against anyone.

jaebum didn't know what was worse, falling for somebody who deserved better or not being enough to keep her. he couldn't win a fucking baseball game. how would he have a chance with seulgi, anyway.

her father was right.

"hey, christian. where's your dad?"

her voice in the breeze triggered shivers up his nape, but he didn't turn to face her. he was frozen in place, watching a video that hammered ache in his chest because why. he didn't know. perhaps he was a sadist. enjoyed his own turmoil and whatnot.

"are you okay?" seulgi rested a hand on his arm, peered down at him with concern bright in her eyes.

seulgi looked pretty in her red dress. with him. on the rooftop of his old building.

jaebum rolled on his back and mustered the best smile he could. "yeah." but his voice was shaky and thin, and he swore tears pricked.

"you're not thinking about the game again, are you?" she grunted, sitting next to him.

"ah, no." and this time wasn't a lie. it was partially true.

she poked his cheek, glare suspicious. "are you sure?"

"yeah," he chuckled, providing something she could believe in as he brushed her finger away and stood.

this was him layering walls. this was him letting trust issues ruin what could be something beautiful.

he rested his arms on the cement railing, glanced into the horizon of city lights. "did you have fun tonight?"

there was a rustle behind him, so he looked at seulgi hugging her knees to her chest under a grey sheepskin coat. she was cold. they shouldn't be out here.

"nope!" she answered honestly. "i hate dinner parties."

yeah, same.

jaebum disliked them, too. not that he'd been to one. not that he accepted her invitation to this one. he couldn't possibly show up being what he was. he'd embarrass her. he didn't want that.

"oh, i'm sure it wasn't so bad."

snorting, she fixed him a sour mask. "it really was. they made me dance with jimin." she shuddered. "i would have rather been here freezing with you."

at that, he laughed. not because he found it funny (only a little) but because it sort of made him a type of happy.

"let's go inside," he offered."

to which seulgi declined, shaking her head. "not until you tell me what's on your mind, jaebum. i know something's the matter."

it was the lawyer in her, he presumed. she was always too curious for her own good. but at least he knew she cared. that meant she cared, right.