Heart Race | JJK ff ✔

chapter 25: both hurt

Are you doing good ? I hope you are guys, thank you for coming to read this (seriously........thank you)

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(Y/n's P.O.V)

I was trying not to yell or show how talking about it affects me, but I failed, I was obvious, it hurts me because I trusted him and because after all that he did to me, I was still ready to do anything to protect him.

"I think you should leave" I said as I stood up.

"I won't leave this time, not until you hear me out" he said back, stubbornly crossing his arms together.

"I don't want to, now please leave" I talked again, I was on the verge to cry, to yell and to run away at the same time.

"Why don't you let your anger on me instead of trying to hide it ?" he mocked, which only made me more mad.

"You can't tell me what to do now, can you ?" I spoke with an expressionless face.

"I won't give you excuses, or deny what I did, or say that it wasn't wrong, but I want you know what I was feeling an- " he started but I cut him off quietly.

"I don't want to know..." I said in an almost inaudible voice. I realized I wasn't ready to talk to him about it.

"Why don't you let me talk ?! It's hard for me to open up about it too, I'm not proud of it, I regret it and I want to fix what I broke, or at least try to" his eyes were begging me to listen to him.

My heart aches whenever I look at him, he's the only person to ever break my trust. I'm not asking to be loved forcefully, but why would he bet on my feelings ? Didn't he know it'd hurt ? Didn't he know it'd break my heart ?

"I made a mistake, I know and I'm sorry......t-the bet...... I made a bet..... with my friends...... I didn't mean to hurt you....... at first, it was just a joke.... until Kai heard about it, he said that he'll tell you ..... and it scared me..... b-because...... I ...... I didn't want to lose you, I knew it'd hurt you, and I knew you would hate me so I begged him not to tell you..... but he blackmailed me..... everyone thought we were together, so did Kai ...... and he hated me for it, he said he'll keep quiet only if I break up with you...... I-I had no choice....."

He confessed and I quietly listened to him, my eyes were teary but I fought them back. All I felt was anger because it all happened behind my back.

But..... if only Jungkook was honest from the beginning.

"Why did you hate me ? Did I ever do anything to you ?" I asked desperately.

"n-no...... I ..... I-I wanted to revenge...." he mumbled out while looking down.

" Kai didn't leave you ever since we broke up, I thought you two were a thing.... and it hurt me a lot... I didn't even know why...... I didn't know what I was feeling.... I was mad at you for being with him all the time....I felt bad for what I did....... and.... at the same time..... I was hurt..... my heart hurt..... every time I saw you with him... I felt a burning feeling in my heart and I thought it was just because Kai took advantage of the situation but I was wrong .......I-I was..... I was  jealous ...... of you and him .....together..."

He continued quietly.

He was hardly keeping eye contact with me. He continuously wiped the sweat off his palms and he was stuttering, he didn't get up from my bed so I was the only one standing, looking down at him.

He had no excuse. It was childish because he assumed things, but I was speechless.

I didn't know what to feel anymore, I know I was still mad, but I also was confused and surprised.

I thought I would never be able to trust what he says, but I believed every word he said.

'Did he really like me ?' Was the only thing I couldn't believe.

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