My life with YO SOY

Chapter 1: The light above the Dark

When I was in elementary school, I had two nightmares that would repeat every night. I don't remember exactly when it started nor why. I never was scared of the dark. To me, it was peaceful.

I remember playing a terrible game with my siblings. I learned it from head start. A group of boys would wait till someone wanted to use the bathroom, lock them in and shut off the light. You were only let out if you screamed for a teacher to get you out. The child that screamed would get scolded but not the boys that did it. So my siblings and I would trick each other in going to the bedroom, shut off the light and hold the door shut. As the boys, we would wait for a scream, then mom would rush in and open the door. Of course, we would get scolded and punished. That happened only three times, because the third time they did it to me. The light switch was inside, so I turned it back on and I said 'fine, that was never funny.' But in head start i never liked that game, especially when it was done to me. I really don't know what convinced me to do that to my siblings. Especially when I knew they were scared of the dark.

These nightmares happened every night. Sometimes both one after the other and other times a nightmare a night. The first one was about me driving. I would start driving very well and suddenly lose control. I would be speeding out of control till I woke up. The second one was about trying to reach the bathroom of my house before the dark figure would catch me. It was horrible. I would lose every time waking up. Sadly, when I did wake up from either nightmare, I had to go to the bathroom. Since the bathroom light was left on for my scaredy cat siblings, I would run to the bathroom, use it and run back to my bedroom. 

One day at school, my teacher had encouraged me to right stories. I really liked doing it. I made a homemade story book with pictures. My father said, 'That I could publish my stories. My stories would become real books.' He liked my stories. One day, I started to draw my nightmares. By this time, they were really bothering me. My mother saw my drawings and asked 'Who is this?' She was looking at a dark figure of a man standing in a door way. I told her 'Its the dark figure in my dreams. He chases me when I go to the bathroom.' She assured me it was just a nightmare and that will never be real. I did not want to go to sleep that night. I was tired of those nightmares. I wanted to stop them or control them, just like the kids on "Nightmare on Elm street".

That same night, I was really tired. I had fallen asleep when I had the first dream. As always, I started driving very well. Once I approached my first stop light, I sped really fast. I had no control and the breaks never worked. like always I would yell 'watch out!'. I hated this nightmare so I just gave up. I decide to let go of the wheel. I just kept speeding and my surroundings got blurry. I stopped being scared and wondered when this would end so I could wake up. It went dark. I opened my eyes and sat up on my bed. I was glad but I had to use the bathroom. I prepared to run to the bathroom when I felt that feeling that the dark figure was near. I then realized I was still asleep and this was my second nightmare. I was scared and crying. I just wanted him to go away and leave me alone. So I decide to run past him no matter what. I knew if I made it to the bathroom, I would be safe. He was so close, trying to make me stop, trying to make me look back but I kept going. I kept my eyes on that bathroom light. Once I reached it, I looked back. The dark figure was gone. I had won! I quickly sat on the toilet and used it. There was no sound. I looked and saw that I sat on the toilet top. I wasn't worried cause it was just a dream. Then I woke up. I had peed in my bed. I confessed to my parents and was punished. In my house you get a spanking for peeing in the bed. I understood, they had to be fair and treat everyone the same. That was my first and only time peeing in my bed.

During all this, my family and I would attend church every Sunday. When my parents could not go, my neighbors would take my siblings and I to church. We were always taught that God is Love. I thought God was so cool. They showed us to pray, sing hymns and read the bible. For me that part was boring. I just wanted to hear how awesome God is. 

After that night, I had stopped having those nightmares. I had other nightmares and sweet dreams. It didn't bother me. I was relieved to never have those nightmares ever again. I started walking to go to the bathroom too. But several nights after, I woke up terrified. There were dark hands and arms all over me. I was screaming, I think I was calling for mom and dad. I struggled trying to push them off of me. My parents didn't show up. The bedroom door was open. How can they not here me? I started to ball up and cry. I needed help. There was no one to help me. It went black, then I felt myself carried up. I opened my eyes. I was above my bed. I saw the dark arms and hands tangled and wiggling on my bed. I was surrounded by a bright light. I wanted to see who was holding me but I only saw light. I started to cry again but of relief that someone had saved me. As I did, I was consoled, like when you stroke a baby to hush and go to sleep. Again, it went black. I woke up quickly and it was mourning. I sat up thinking, this was a dream but it was so real. I also realize its the first time I wake up from a dream or nightmare in the mourning. I usually wake up in the middle of the night. 

Nights became peaceful again. Those nightmares never returned but I would remember them once and awhile. It was now different. I learned how beautiful the night is when I was read Genesis 1: 16-18

      16 And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.

        17 And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth,

       18 And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that it was good.

 So even in the darkness, he is there too cause he made these lights. I learned we will never truly be, in the dark. I asked a brother in church 'I want to find God.' He said 'Then you have to look for him.' So my search started. I soon learned it was easier said than done.

Being an adult with Jesus in my life. My mother told me how she would pray for us every night when we were kids. She knew we were scared of something but she could not help us. So she left it in God's hands. I believe her prayers to God saved me that night. Because she had faith that God would help me, and in time, he took those nightmares away.  Also, my siblings are no longer scaredy cats.