You Look Happier

Walking down 29th and Park

I saw you in another's arms

It's been a year, a long, painful year, since he last saw her face. He still remembered the taste of his tears the night they ended it.

"Tom, I-I don't know what to do anymore! I-" She hiccupped, her tears staining her flushed cheeks as she shook her head in denial, "I love you so much, Tom, but I don't know how much more I can take."

A familiar pain grew in his chest as he watched her smile and laugh at the group friends she was with. A man was sitting next to her with his arm around her shoulder, her eyes glimmering with that same look she used to give him; appreciation, humor, love.

You look happier

"I love you too, Y/n," Tom started, his throat tight and dry, struggling to find the right words to say.

He could see her hurting whenever he had to leave, hear how stressed she would be whenever the media would start a new rumor, or when a fan would attack her for something she couldn't control. He remembered all of the phone calls they would have, hearing her try not to cry from all of the responsibility and burdens she had to carry because of him. He was the source of all of her pain, giving her what she didn't deserve.

Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you

But ain't nobody love you like I do

Promise that I will not take it personal, baby

If you're moving on with someone new

'Cause baby you look happier, you do

My friends told me one day I'll feel it too

He wondered if she noticed him across the street, catching him staring from the sidelines as they sat at the outdoor table of the diner. It was hard to not miss her; the way her voice was carried in the wind or the way her laughter that made anyone want to join along, to the way her lips pursed when she tried her best to focus or how she curled into his side before perfectly falling asleep.

He had missed everything about her.

And until then I'll smile and hide the truth

But I know that I was happier with you

"We... We have to break up." His words cut through his heart like a knife, but what made it truly shatter was the broken look she gave him once they left his mouth.

"T-Tom!" Her deep e/c eyes were wide as a new onset of tears began to flow.

"I love you too much to keep hurting you like this," Advancing towards her, he held her face in his hands, vision blurry from the fresh, hot tears that began to form. "I-I can't keep doing this to you, I can't 'try' to fix this knowing that there's no middle ground we can both find to make it work."

She started to sob again, her hands going to cover his as she closed her eyes, wanting to hide from the truth of it all. "I-I don't want to l-lose you! I want us to work, I want everything to be better!"

"Darling, you will never lose me. We didn't fall out of love, no one cheated or did anything to lose the other; if anything, this is us proving our love, putting ourselves, our sanity, above all else." Tom closed his eyes, his body shaking as he tried to calm his racing mind, "Loving someone includes knowing when to let go."

Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you

But ain't nobody need you like I do

He remembered the days after the break up; helping her pack her things as she found a new place a few streets away, their final night together in the same bed, cuddled close to each other with tear stains marking shirts and pillow cases, the final hug when all of her things were safely inside of her apartment and the last glimpse of her bloodshot eyes as she shut the door behind him when he left.