Highland Fling - A Funny Chick Lit Romance (COMPLETE)

The Dating Guru

 "Good morning Gaby! Are ye off to Jack's to do your design-y stuff?"

After only a few days of making my way along the main street to Jack's house, all and sundry now know my routine. As they do my name and occupation. This morning's questioner is the guy I saw in the Lochside Welcome's beer garden the first day arrived, the one who told me to go to Dr McLatchie's and get myself anti-histamines to deal with the cat allergy. He walks his dog along by the water twice a day and has decided our shared pet care responsibilities make us the best of buddies.

"Yes," I say, and he falls in step beside me. Scottie, the imaginatively named West Highland white terrier, barks enthusiastically and runs round my legs, trapping me with his lead.

"Er..." Everyone knows who I am, but I've noticed the villagers have a weird habit of never introducing themselves, so I've no idea what the once-allergic pint-drinking dog owner is called.

"Oh, aye. Wait there a sec and I'll de-tangle ye."

He gets down on his hands and knees and crawls around me to free my legs. It would be one hundred percent more efficient if he just released the lead and unwound the dog, and I dread to think what this looks like to anyone who is watching—a shaggy-haired, long-bearded bear of a man whose head is level with my crotch at the moment moving around in front of me. Jamal from the General Store is putting out his baskets full of buckets, spades and sun hats (optimistic), and he stops what's he's doing to stare, hands on hips and eyes squinting in disbelief.

"Um." I draw back and only manage to get myself more tightly tied up. My neighbour appears—the ninety-year-old Tinder user—opening his back gate and stopping abruptly next to us.

He does an abrupt U-turn, heading back the way he came. "Ah can see youse are busy. Must be one o' they new ways folks hae to—

"No!" I yelp. My neighbour's Scottish accent is stronger than most of the people here, but I can make out the gist of what he says. "The dog's lead has got itself tangled up around my legs."

"Och, aye well here's whit tae dae." My neighbour does what was obvious all along, neatly un-clipping Scottie's lead from his collar. The dog continues running his wild circles around me, tail wagging furiously. When his owner tries to unwind the lead from my legs, I tap his hand smartly. I'll manage that bit myself thank you very much.

Lead handed back, and hasty goodbyes muttered, I head towards Jack's house, hood pulled up against the rain. Yes, the rain hasn't let up since I arrived at Lochalshie. Every evening, the BBC weather woman smiles at me from her warm, cosy studio, her arm moving behind her as she points out that yet again the north-west of Scotland will experience wind and rain. She promises that it's unusual for this time of year. May is often the best month for sunshine and warm temperatures in this part of the world. I'm tempted to take to Twitter or Instagram with all the photos that prove her wrong. Hashtag BBClies.

Dr McLatchie adds her good wishes as her Volvo bumps onto the kerb on the pavement next to the surgery as it does every morning and she throws open the door, complaining about cows on the road.

In comparison, Jack's house is a haven of peace and calm. I let myself in, shut the door, lock it, and lean back on it taking deep breaths. The carpet, paintings and wallpaper work their soothing magic. I can't see much of the loch thanks to the grey skies, but the lack of cars around here makes the distant lapping of the water just audible. I've established my working routine—four hours in the morning, home for lunch and to feed Little Ms Mena who has decided twice a day is nowhere near as good as four times, then another four hours in the afternoon. Now I no longer have office colleagues,, my productivity has soared. I rattle through cut-outs, templates and more. Who knew? I always thought I was a hard worker, but it turns out I used to spend a lot of my day chatting with my colleagues and offering to do the coffee and tea runs. When you make coffee just for yourself, and you take it black without sugar, it only takes a minute.