i'm tired of having to put up with others twisting my name so it fits better into their mouth.
"oh, just spell it different so people don't say it wrong!" they say
"you just have to deal with that, we never thought we'd move back here" say my parents,
but i don't want to deal with it. i don't want to change it.
i've already had my years of wanting to have a different name, had those years where the kids at ensemble called me rosin, the kids at surf club called me raisin, at school it went from roishon to roesion and anywhere in between.
i don't miss that.
what i do miss is the way my grandmother would roll her 'r' when calling for me, the way that all the old men in the local pub knew me by name and it was pronounced correctly each time. the local fiddle maker who used to let me run my hands over the half-carved bodies and gave me my fist lesson behind the church one day. the way i could pretend that my name didn't belong to me when ms farren next door warned me of the fae in the woods down the road.
because, see, names have power. names are important and they can be used against you, and i'm tired of it.
my name is mine. do not try to tell me how to fit it into my own mouth.
YOU ARE READING
KAFKA ON THE SHORE.
Random"what I think is this: you should give up looking for lost cats and start searching for the other half of your shadow." PERSONAL @MATCHIMOCHI 2018
