Unsocial Media [Jisung Centric]

Spilled

There he stands. The leader of the group. The proud dad of 7 of us, being that Woojin is the 'Mom'. He stands there for a cool second, watching me as I try to hold in muffled hiccups and tears. I look at him eye to eye.

I was scared that all I was going to see was the look of disappointment, but surprisingly as I looked at him, his eyes went soft. This felt like predebut all over again. He rushed to my side and engulfed me in a tight hug. I didn't hug back, instead, I sobbed. I sobbed so loud that the others could probably hear me. I couldn't control my tears. I wanted to stop. I choked on my held back sobs. I shut my eyes so tightly, in hope that no more tears will come out. 

Chan rubbed my back softly, telling me that it was okay to cry. From there I don't remember much, I just cried the rest of the time. 

He finally pulled away from the hug. I frown due to the discomfort without warmth. He looks me dead in the eye and I shake up inside, clenching my jaw and waiting for the harshest thing to come out of Chan's mouth. 

He sighs and sits back for a bit, "Jisung, There's something I need to tell you."

My eyes are slowly starting to water again. I'm scared for what he's going to say.

"Hey hey." I'm pulled into a tight hug again, "Don't cry. I promise I'm not mad at you or anything."

I look up at him with teary eyes, also in shock, "You're not?"

"What made you think that I was mad Ji..?"

"I thought you were gonna get mad at me for causing a scene..."

"No Ji, we've talked about this no? Way before we debuted?"

"Right..."

I had remembered it all like it was yesterday. Chan, Changbin and I were in the studio writing lyrics and producing songs. I was done writing my lyrics and I had gotten up to show changbin. I tapped on his shoulder and he turned towards me harshly and glared. 

"What the fuck do you want?!" He yelled. 

I flinched backward a bit and gave a nervous smile, "Nothing nevermind..."

From there I walked out of the studio quickly and went straight to the bathroom.  I looked at the mirror and my breathing went uneven. Tears started spilling out of my eyes like a water floor. My legs went weak and soon my head was filled with horrible thoughts. 

'Stop being a fucking burden for once' 'Why are you so annoying' 'Why can't you just leave everyone alone?!'

"Jisung..? Oh god, Ji ." I feel someone fall next to me and crush me into a hug. Soon after I heard footstep and feel another set of arms. 

"Ji, I'm sorry I snapped at you like that." It was Changbin, "I was just stressed and tired."

I shake my head furiously, "No no no! You don't need to apologize!! I'm sorry I caused such a scene."

"Oh Ji..." The first pair of arms got tighter.

"You don't have to apologize for that! You didn't cause a scene at all. You don't have to bottle up anything Ji. Please don't stress yourself out on it so much."

"Ji?"

"Yeah sorry?"

"Uh... Hyunjin, Minho and I.."

"What about you guys..?"

"We know about your hidden account...unknown..."

"You what?!"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  Again, tears were spilling out of my eyes. My whole secret has been exposed. They know everything about me. I knew I shouldn't have text Minho hyung back when he messaged me. 

I felt nothing but pain and instant regret. I wanted to run away from everything around me. It felt the walls around me were starting to close up on me. 

I couldn't find myself to meet eyes with Chan. In fact, I looked everywhere but at him. I couldn't. I was too scared. I just wanted to run. But his arms were still wrapped tightly around me. I shut my eyes and hoped and prayed that this was all a dream. 

"I'm sorry Ji."

Was the last thing I heard before everything went black.