💖 Harry Potter Oneshots!💖

~the stages of grief~

Harry p.o.v-
stage 1- denial
thump thump
thump thump
'no,, Sirius can't be gone? He'll come out any minute now with his trademark smile, hug me, and continue fighting' I thought. The seconds dragged on, and he till hadn't come out. I ran forward as Remus grabbed me, his grip gentle but still stern, to not let me get away. "There's nothing you can do, harry" lupin said, a certain tone tracing his voice that suggested Remus was on the verge of a breakdown, but kept himself together for Harry's sake. "Get him,, save him!" I yelled, fighting he just didn't want me, as a 16 year old, to go through. Figures. Everyone acts like I'm a child that doesn't deserve to know anything.

I looked at Remus, my eyes had clear confusion on them. Why did he look so pitiful? Why was he just standing there. "he's- he's only just gone through" I whispered, pleading with him. "It's too late harry" lupin replied, with a slight voice crack. I stopped breathing for a moment, not wanting to believe it. It had been a few minutes at this point, and Sirius still hadn't come out.

"no no no no! he's fine!! He'll be out any moment just watch! NO!"

Remus' eyes laced with sadness "we've got to go harry." He whispered.

stage 2- Anger
I stood in Dumbledore's office, tears streaming down my face. He refused to listen to me. The old man was spewing rubbish. He didn't understand. He sat calmly and watch as I tore his office apart. HE JUST SAT CALMLY AND WATCHED!!

A sad smile sat on his face "harry, suffering like this proves you are still human" dumbledore said quietly. God, I wanted to smash a chair over the mans head! Foolish old man, he doesn't get what it's like to have everyone you love ripped from you one by one. "This pain is part of being human" he continued.

I finally turned to face him "THEN I DON'T WANT TO BE HUMAN!" I yelled, smashing glass trinkets to the floor. The place was a mess.

Stage 3- bargaining
I felt inhuman. I had completely destroyed Dumbledore's office early, in a fit of rage. I sat on the floor next to my bed, tired out. That's when I saw something. A package. The package Sirius had given me earlier that year. I quickly snatched it from under the bed, ripping the package opening. Inside was a mirror and a note.

I looked over the note, evaluating that the mirror was a two way mirror. 'What if it..' I thought. I looked into it and clearly said "Sirius Black". The words echoed the deserted dorm room. I waited for what must have been 10-15 minutes before I tried again. Still nothing. 'Well duh. He didn't have the mirror with him when he died' I thought.

I then heard quite the ruckus outside from peeves. 'Peeves... peeves! Ghosts!' I thought, running out of the dorm, out of the common room, and down the hallway. Where I ran into nearly headless nick.

"Nick! Dead people,, uh dead people can,, people can come back, right? Like you did. As ghosts." I asked, desperate pleading in my face.

"Harry..." nick whispered.

"They don't have to disappear completely. They can chose to come back, like you did" I said. Sirius would come back if he had the choice, right? He would want to be here for me.

"He won't come back."  Nick stated, feeling sympathy for the boy.

"Who?" I ask.

"Sirius Black"

Stage 4- depression
I sat in my bed, staring into space. I barely got up to do anything anymore. I barely got up to eat. I spent most of my time crying. There was about two weeks left at hogwarts. I wasn't excused from classes, but no one could make me go. People tried at first, but gave up quick.

If I didn't take my exams, I wouldn't be allowed back at hogwarts. That's what 'minoe had kept telling me. But I knew it wasn't true. People couldn't afford to have their precious 'savior' expelled.

I felt empty, my emotions numbed. There's was no point anymore. No one else had ever cared about me so much. Sirius definitely wasn't the perfect godfather but he was the only one in my life to put my priorities first, the one who would do anything for me.

And not because I was the boy who lived and I needed to stay alive, but because he loved me.

Stage 5- acceptance
It was the first quiet moment I'd had in a while. Sure I loved 'mione and Ron but they put a lot of pressure on me sometimes. It hurt.

I thought about what to do with just some me time, where I wasn't constantly pressured about finding the horcruxes. I looked through my bag, grabbing out a photo album. I flipped through the first page, where I found a
picture of my dad, mum, and Sirius. It was on my parents wedding day. Sirius has his arms around both of them, with his trademark smile. I smiled at the photo, the first real smile I'd shown in a long time.

It'd been a little over a year and a half since Sirius' death, and I still thought about him and missed him every day, as I do everyone I've lost.

I stared at Sirius in the photo, who looked young and free. More whole than I've ever seen him, and my smile widened knowing he was with two of his best friends again.

A/N- that was awful but lmao ok. I haven't posted in a little bit so I decided to make a small thing that literally took me five minutes. That's why it's a w f u l. I almost cried
writing this:,)) it hurt. Thanks for reading, why would you waste your time writing this?